Back To Your Heart
by erfan18
Summary: The baby is in danger will Carter loose another person he loves?
1. Default Chapter

Back To Your Heart  
  
  
  
  
"It sure is a nice day" Carter thought to himself as he was walking to work, as he got in the hospital he signed in and said hi as he went to the lounge to drop his things off and grab his lab coat.   
  
"Carter" Randi yelled as he walked out of the lounge "There is someone on the phone that wants to talk to either you are Mark I cant find him so will you talk to this person?" she asked  
  
"Sure" he said "Hi" he said when he picked the phone up  
  
"Carter?" the voice at the other end answered "Is that you?"  
  
"Susan!?" he said in shock "Oh my god how are you?"  
  
"Good how about yourself" she asked  
  
"Well I'm doing pretty good look Susan I'm pretty busy right now the ER is swamped today and Kerry is yelling at me to get to work, can I call you later?" he asked  
  
"Well John the ER is the reason I called, things aren't going to well for me here in Phoenix and I talked with some guy that is the chief of staff there Ramano I guess and they have a position for me in the ER, and I'm on my way over back to Chicago" she said  
  
"Oh my god really!?" he asked in shock  
  
"Yeah I should be there tomorrow," she said  
  
"Well then I'll come and get you what time does your plane get here?" he asked as he snapped at Randi to get him a piece of paper  
  
"My plane lands at O'Hare at 5 pm, gate 20" she said  
  
"Okay got that, I'll see you then Susan" he put the phone down and went in search of Mark to tell him  
Carter was walking around the ER and ran into Peter "Hey Peter" he yelled after him "Have you seen Mark?"   
  
"He is in Trauma 2 why?" he asked  
  
"Well you wouldn't believe me if I told you this but guess whose coming back?" he said with a smile on his face  
  
"All right Carter out with it" Peter said a little annoyed  
  
"Susan" he said  
  
"Susan, as in Susan Lewis?" he said   
  
"Yeah she was having problems back in Phoenix and called for a job here and she's going to be here tomorrow" Carter said  
  
"Wow, after what happened I wonder how Mark will react" Peter said  
  
"I don't know that's why I'm trying to find him," Carter said walking off in search of him again. He walked into trauma 2 and found Mark in there ready to send a patient off  
  
"Okay he is ready to go now, make sure to remember the drug box Halah," he said handing it to her  
  
"Hey Dr. Greene" Carter said walking in "I got a phone call today you would never believe who it was from" he said  
  
"Who Carter" Mark asked a little annoyed  
  
"Susan" Carter said as Mark stopped dead in his tracks  
  
"Su Su Susan" Mark said in shock   
  
"Yeah she was having problems back in Phoenix and decided to come back her plane gets here tomorrow" Carter said  
  
"Wow" Mark said, "I can't believe this"  
  
"I know" Carter said, "So do you want to go get her," he asked  
"No Carter I have a wife and a baby I cant have her back in my life not after what happened" Mark said as he stormed out the door  
  
Carter stood there in shock he thought that Mark was one of her best friends and would love to go and get her. He looked at the piece of paper in his hand and stuck it in his pocket and walked off.  



	2. Confesions

Back to Your Heart   
Part 2  
  
Carter stood at the gate where he would say he would meet Susan, he must of stood there for hours waiting when he finally saw his old friend "Susan over here" he yelled out  
  
"Carter!" she yelled as she ran up to hug him  
  
"How the hell have you been Carter?" she asked as they went to get her luggage   
  
"Nothing much same old same old, I'm not in surgery anymore I moved down to the ER and I'm a resident" he said as he grabbed her first bag off the carousel  
  
"That's great, I knew you wouldn't stay in surgery you were better at handling patients in the ER" she said. They walked out to his car and put her stuff in his trunk  
  
"So do you have someplace to say?" he asked   
  
"No I'm kind of stuck at going to a hotel," she said  
  
"Well now I cant have that Susan you can stay at my place until you find somewhere to stay" he said  
  
"No I don't want to impose Carter" she said  
  
"No, No, that's okay I live by myself and I have nobody else around me so you might as well stay with me, come on we can talk about old times" he said   
  
"Okay, but just for a couple of weeks" she said "Then I want you to kick me out," she said  
  
"Deal" he said shaking her hand. They pulled up to his house and got out of the car  
  
"Wow Carter this house is beautiful" she said when they walked in the house  
  
"Yep it belonged to my grandparents on my mothers side and they moved and gave it to me" he said "Make yourself comfortable want anything to drink" he asked  
"Depends what do you have?" she asked  
  
"Lets see I have Heinekens, Budweiser, Wine and some funny looking stuff" he said looking through his refrigerator  
  
"Ill take a Budweiser" she said "Who is this she asked as she picked up a picture of Lucy  
  
"Oh that's Lucy Knight she was a med-student I had" he said looking at the picture frame with tears almost in his eyes  
  
"Carter what happened?" she asked seeing that he was upset  
  
"I don't want to talk about it" he said putting the picture back up on the mantle "It was something that happened two years ago and I tried to put it out of my mind"   
  
"Carter you can't play games with me I know when you are upset I've known you too long" she said putting a hand on his shoulder  
  
"Well it was two years ago on Valentines day and she was taking care of a scytsophrenic patient and was asking me for help and I was kind of ignoring her" he said sitting down  
  
"Almost like Peter did to you" she said sitting next to him  
  
"Yeah, well I had tried to get her situated with him and take care of another patient, and later that night I went in search of her in the room seeing if she had handed him off and I went into the room and found a Valentines Day card laying on the floor that one of the nurses were passing out I bent down to pick it up and I was reading it when her patient came up from behind me and stabbed me twice in the back" he said  
  
"Oh my god Carter" she said with her hand over her mouth  
  
"Yeah and I really didn't realize what was going on and I went to grab for something and ended up grabbing for a tray that was there and screamed for help but nobody could hear me cause they had the music up really loud at the admit desk cause they were having a party. So I end up falling to the ground and looked over and found out that son of a bitch had stabbed her too and she was laying there in a pool of her own blood" he said almost on the verge of tears  
  
"Oh Carter I cant believe that, what happened next?" she asked  
  
"Well I passed out and next thing I know I wake up on a gurney with them working over me and then they ran me up to the OR Peter worked on me and I came out of it fine but it turned out that she had a pulmonary embolus and died of it" he said  
  
"Oh Carter I'm really sorry I wish I had known" she said giving him a hug   
  
"Yeah well I really wasn't open to what happened and kind of shut people out and ended up going to rehab in Atlanta for a drug problem I had from taking narcotics trying to shut out the pain in my back and mostly in my heart" he said   
  
"Carter you have been through a lot" she said  
  
"Well we better get you set up for bed I've got a guest bedroom set up for unexpected guests and you can sleep in there tonight" he said changing the subject  
  
"Yeah well I'm going to go to bed now goodnight Carter" she said heading into the bedroom  
  
"Goodnight Susan" he said  



	3. First Day Back

Back to Your Heart  
Part 3  
  
  
"So you ready for your first day back?" Carter asked as they drove his car towards the hospital  
  
"I hope so I hope nothing has changed I would like to see Carol and Doug again" she said sort of excited  
  
"Um Susan, Doug and Carol left a couple of years ago" he said   
  
"What?" she asked shocked  
  
"Yeah Doug left after he killed a kid with ALD and Carol left after she had his babies and moved to Seattle to be with him" he said  
  
"Wow a lot has happened since I've been gone next your going to tell me Mark is married and has another kid" he looked at her with sheepish eyes "HE IS!" she said shocked  
  
"Yeah to a nice woman named Elizabeth she works here as a surgeon they were married last year, and just had a daughter" Carter said  
  
"Oh my god" she said "I really should have kept in touch with you guys"   
  
"Yeah a lot has happened even the admit desk looks different" he said as they pulled up to the parking structure and got out. They got in the elevator and walked into the hospital and she looked around and noticed that things were different almost unrecognizable she said by to Carter and headed to the elevator to go talk to Romano before she started her shift  
  
"Hey Carter I thought Susan was starting back today where is she?" Haleh asked  
  
"She went to talk to Romano before she started her shift" he said getting his stuff put away  
  
"Oh boy hope she gets out of there okay without him hitting on her" she said as she left  
"Yeah I hope so too" as he got his stethoscope and walked out the door. As he walked out he ran into Mark who didn't look to be in a good mood "Hi Dr. Greene" he said  
  
"Morning Carter shouldn't you get to work?" he said annoyed and walked off  
  
"Sheesh what a grouch he is today" he said to himself and walked off.   
  
Susan who had just walked out of Romano's office was all smiles but a little annoyed cause he had tried to hit on her "What a jerk, Morgenstern was a lot better, wonder what happened to him" she said as she walked off and got into the elevator and finally found herself back down in the ER as soon as she got off the elevator she ran into Kerry  
  
"Susan?" she said   
  
"Hi Kerry" she said almost trying to blow her off  
  
"What are you doing here Susan?" Kerry asked  
  
"Well things in Phoenix weren't going to well and I heard there was a position open back here and I came to fill it," she said  
  
"Well its good to have you back Susan" she said   
  
"Its great to be back noticed that a lot has changed around here" she said walking into the lounge  
  
"Yeah, I think you'll find that a lot has changed for the better, well I'm going to go back to work hope you find yourself well" she said as she walked off  
  
"Me too Kerry" she said as she put her stuff in a locker. It really did feel good to be back to be around most of her old friends and back to the place where she grew up, she took a deep breath and walked out of the lounge to the admit desk to start her day.  
  
"Hi Randi" Susan said as she walked over to get a chart  
  
"Dr. Lewis, oh my god so it wasn't a rumor" she said  
"Nope its me I'm back." she said  
  
"Well its good to have you back" Randi said as she walked off  
  
"Its good to be back………I think" she grabbed a chart and walked off. She had a sort of normal day said hi to all the people she knew and met all the new ones. She was on her way out when she ran into a tall Croatian man   
  
"Hi you must be new here," he said in a thick Croatian accent  
  
"Not really I used to work here I left then came back" she said   
  
"Oh well welcome back my name is Luka Kovac" he said  
  
"Well hello Luka hope to see you again" she said as she shook his hand and walked off "he is kind of cute" she thought to herself. She got her stuff together and was about to go catch the EL when she caught up with Carter  
  
"You going to head on home?" he asked   
  
"Yeah, I will pick dinner up how does Chinese food sound?" she asked  
  
"Sounds good whatever you get will be fine" he said   
  
"Okay I will see you at home" she said as she walked out. She got home and ordered the food and decided to watch some TV while waiting for it to show up, she ended up falling asleep and woke up to a knock at the door, she opened it up and found Carter standing there giving the delivery boy money for the food  
  
"Carter you didn't have to do that" she said sleepily  
  
"I know but I did it anyway come on lets eat this food before it gets cold" he said taking the food and walking in, so how did you first day back go?" he asked as he was setting the food out at the table  
  
"Pretty good, hey I didn't know that Deb was back" she said  
  
"Yeah she came back a couple of years ago her practice in New York fell through and she got a job back here" he said sitting down "and if you want to stay on her good side don't call her Deb" he said   
  
"Oh that's why she gave me a funny look when I said that" she laughed  
  
"Yeah, so was everyone surprised to see you?" he asked  
  
"Yeah but I didn't see Mark, I was really hoping to see him" she said disappointed  
  
"Yeah well he is a very busy man come on lets eat" he said changing the subject  



	4. Meeting of an old friend

Back To Your Heart   
Part 4  
  
Susan was making breakfast, one morning it had been two weeks since she had moved in "Good morning Carter" she said  
  
"Morning Susan" he said groggily  
  
"Did you sleep well?" she asked  
  
"Like a baby, so what are you making for breakfast it smells good" he said  
  
"Omelets bacon toast and coffee" she said  
  
"Mmmm sounds great," he said  
  
"Yep, so what are you doing today isn't it your day off?" she asked  
  
"Yeah just plan on staying in or maybe going out to see a movie, what about you I know its your day off too" he said  
  
"I don't know I was thinking of going and visiting Mark he has been avoiding me ever since I got here and I thought I would go and talk to him see how he is doing" she said as she handed him his plate  
  
"Cool, would you like some company?" he asked  
  
"Sure you can come along I don't know where he lives" she said as she sat down next to him  
  
"Okay we can go later on then maybe we can see a movie," he said  
  
"Wow these are some nice houses" Susan said as they were driving towards Marks house   
  
"Yeah well Elizabeth was getting tired of your old apartment so Mark decided to go and buy a new one and I guess they really like it out here" he said pulling into their driveway. They got up to their door and knocked, Elizabeth came to the door holding Ella  
"Hi Carter and who is this?" she asked  
  
"Hi Elizabeth this is Susan she works at county now" he said  
  
"Well hi Susan come on in Mark is in the garage working on his car damn thing broke down again" she said as she showed them in  
  
"Wow this is a really nice house," Susan said as they walked inside  
  
"Yeah we got it really inexpensive, and that apartment he was in wasn't going to be good for the baby" she said as she put Ella in the crib "So Susan what brought you to county?" she asked as she sat down on the couch  
  
"Well I used to work there and I left a couple of years ago, and things weren't going well for me and I came back," she said   
  
"Well that's interesting I didn't know you worked there before" she said  
  
"Yeah I worked down in the ER with Mark, and that apartment you used to live in was mine," she said   
  
"Oh well I had no idea, I guess Mark never told me" she said at that Mark walked in "Well speak of the devil, Mark guess who came over" she said  
  
"Hi Mark" Susan said a little uneasy  
  
"Susan" he said as he went to give her a hug "how are you doing, I'm sorry I haven't had the chance to say hi I've just been really busy" he said  
  
"That's okay its really good to see you, I see that you have been doing good for yourself" she said  
  
"Yeah, things have been going really good for me" he said taking a seat by Elizabeth and holding her hand  
  
"Well I'm really happy for you" she said "Well we really get going I think we should let the baby sleep and you look like you need some sleep to Elizabeth" she said about to leave  
"Oh well don't be silly, please stay and have dinner" she said  
  
"No that's okay, some other time," she said grabbing her coat  
  
"Okay Susan it was really good to meet you, and drive safely," she said as she showed them out the door  
  
"Well that was awkward" Susan said as she got in the car   
  
"Yeah, Mark sure acted weird" Carter said   
  
"Well how about that movie now?" Susan asked  
  
"Yeah what's playing?" he asked   
  
"I don't know well just play it by ear" she said  
  
"That sounds good" Carter said as they drove in the direction of the theatre. They got there and picked the movie and paid the man for the movie and went to get their seats  
  
"Man Carter I didn't know you had that big of a sweet tooth" Susan said as she noticed Carter with about 10 bags of candy in his hands   
  
"Well what can I say I like candy," he said as they sat down. The movie started and they sat there and were watching it when Carter noticed Susan's hand moving closer to his, he took her hand in his and they sat there and watched the rest of the movie  
  
"Man that was a great movie!" Susan said as they got out of the theatre  
  
"Yeah but it was Jim Carey is sure a great comedian" Carter said as they headed for his car and got in "Hey Susan" he said as they got in the car "So where do you want to go now" he asked  
  
"Well how about we get some steaks at the market and we go home and grill them?" she said  
  
"That sounds good," he said as they started out of the parking lot and drove to the grocery store. They got there and walked in it was pretty empty and almost nobody was around "Okay" Carter said "Ill get the meat you get the potatoes and the vegetables" he said  
  
"Okay what kind of vegetables should I get?" she asked  
  
"Any kind I don't care" he said as he walked off in search of some good steaks. As he was looking through the meat products he ran into a familiar face "Hey Dr. Benton, what are you doing here?" he asked   
  
"Ah Jackie is having a barbeque and she ran out of hamburger meat" he said  
  
"Ok I was just here to pick up some steaks Susan and I are going to have a little barbeque ourselves," he said looking through the choices  
  
"Okay Carter, have fun Ill see you later" he said as he walked off  
  
"Later Dr. Benton" he said  
  
"You got the meat" Susan asked as she caught up with Carter   
  
"Yeah you ready to go?" he asked   
  
"Yeah lets go pay and we can get out of here," Susan said  
  
"Hold on we are out of beer let's pick up a few cases," he said walking in the direction of the liquor "Okay how about a 12 pack of bud and a 12 pack of Mikes Hard Lemonade" Carter asked  
  
"Sounds good Carter" she said putting the stuff in the cart  
  
"Okay we got all that we need let's go pay," he said. They paid for the stuff and walked out to the car and put the stuff in and drove home  
  
"Okay it looks like the grill is ready" Carter said as he started to put the steaks on the grill   
"Here" Susan said handing him a beer   
  
"Thanks" he said "Cheers?" he said clinking the glasses together  
  
"Cheers" she said. After a while Carter noticed that Susan was quiet and decided to liven the conversation up  
  
"So Susan how is little Suzy I haven't heard you talk about her since you got here" Carter asked  
  
"She is good she has gotten bigger," Susan said with tears in her eyes  
  
"You okay?" Carter asked  
  
"Yeah Carter, I think those steaks are almost done" she said changing the subject  
  
"Yeah they are done, is the rest of the stuff done?" he asked  
  
"Yeah they are in the refrigerator waiting," she said walking inside to get them. They ate them and went inside and washed the dishes and sat down on the couch talking and they really drunk   
  
"Then I send her in there and she doesn't know it is really a man and I hear this blood curdling scream come out" he said laughing hysterically  
  
"Oh man Carter that was bad," she said "Do you miss her?" she asked pointing at the picture of Lucy in his hands  
  
"Yeah, she was one of my most promising students, and I don't think Ill ever get another one like her" he said  
  
"Its okay Carter she is probably looking down at you right now and is happy for you" she said   
  
"Yeah, well it's getting late and we have to work tomorrow so we better get some sleep" he said putting her picture, back up on the mantle   
  
"Goodnight Carter" she said as she gave him a kiss on the cheek   
"Goodnight Susan" as he watched her walk into her room and close the door  



	5. Morning

Back to Your Heart   
Part 5  
  
Susan woke up later that night to see that Carter hadn't moved from where she left him last night he was curled up on the couch sleeping like a baby, she had felt something between them the night before that she had felt before but had ignored it cause she thought it was wrong at that time but he was still the same old Carter cute, little boy who is learning his way out in the world, but he was older now and much more mature, she walked over to him and covered him up with a blanket she found in the closet, he stirred and then wrapped the covers closer to him  
  
"Thank you Susan," he said  
  
"Your welcome Carter, goodnight" she said as she went back to bed. She woke up the next morning with a bit of a hangover but it wasn't bad, she saw Carter stirring as she started to get the coffee ready for today  
  
"Morning sleepy head" she said as she saw Carter sit up  
  
"Good morning, I really hope there is some asprin around here," he said searching through the cabinets  
  
"Yeah they are over here I needed one earlier" she said pointing to the bottle on the kitchen counter  
  
"Thanks Susan, so what time do you have to be in today?" he asked after taking a couple of asprin  
  
"Ten, how about you?" she asked  
  
"Nine unfortunately" he said as he grabbed a cup of coffee  
  
"Well you better go and get ready it's already a quarter to eight" she said  
  
"Yeah I better get going," he said as he walked into his room. He came out showered and ready for work he looked like his hangover had never happened  
  
"Did you save me any hot water?" she asked   
"Yeah there should be enough in there I better get going Ill see you at work" he said almost on his way out the door "Hey what are you doing for lunch today?" he asked her before she went into the bathroom  
  
"I don't know I will have to see" she said  
  
"Well why don't we go and get something" he said  
  
"Okay I will see you at work" she said. She got to work and noticed that things were abnormally not busy "That's weird she said as she walked into the lounge and put her stuff in her locker and walked over to the board to check if there were any patients to take and it was empty, well I guess this gives me time to relax  
  
"Hey Susan" Carter said "Pretty slow huh?" he said  
  
"Yeah I don't say anything to loud cause if memory serves me it will get busy fast," she said laughing  
  
"Yeah it can do that," he said "So do you want to go and get some coffee?" he said  
  
"Sure cause we don't do that enough" she laughed. They walked over to Doc Magoos and saw almost everyone over there "Hey guys" Susan said as she walked in  
  
"Hey Susan its Susan right Dave said   
  
"Yes and its Mallatuci right" she asked trying to mess with his mind  
  
"Have a seat Susan were just sitting here talking" Luka said trying to apologize for Dave's rudeness   
  
"So what were you guys talking about" Carter asked  
  
"There is a rumor going around about that shooter we had last summer," Dave said  
  
"What shooter?" Susan asked  
  
"Well last May some guy went on a shooting rampage and finally someone shot him in the park and he was brought him here" Dave said "Well the rumor is that when he was on the elevator and Mark said he couldn't save him when he arrested is a lie I heard that he killed him" Dave said  
  
"Dave you know that's a lie Mark has too much of a conscience to do something like that" Carter said  
  
"Well I'm just repeating what I heard I for one don't believe it" Dave said. As soon as he said that Mark walked in   
  
"Hi Dr. Greene" Luka said  
  
"Hey guys what are you all talking about?" he asked as he grabbed another table and moved it to the one they were sitting at  
  
"Nothing much Dr. Greene, just some stories going around" Carter said  
  
"Oh anything interesting" he asked  
  
"No just the same old rumors and lies Mark" Susan said  
  
"You know I need to get back I think my beeper is going off," Dave said  
  
"I didn't hear anything," Luka said  
  
"I have it on vibrate" Dave said on his way out  
  
"He is really odd" Susan said  
  
"That's our Dave" Carter joked, "So Susan are you hungry Ill pay," Carter said  
  
"Yeah I am I think were both to sick this morning to eat," she laughed  
  
"What did you guys do last night?" Mark asked   
  
"We just drank a little too much" Carter said, "And Susan made those horrible tequilas  
  
"I know she can't make a good tequila," Mark said  
  
"Well I say we get the big breakfast," Susan said  
  
"Oh so you're going to make me pay all that money huh?" Carter asked  
  
"Sure if you going to have a rich friend they might as well buy you a big breakfast" Susan said  
  
"Okay but you are buying dinner tonight" Carter said, "Mark what are you going to get" Carter asked  
  
"Nothing I'm not really hungry" Mark said, "And actually I need to get back and go check on Ella she is in daycare for the first time today  
  
"Okay how about you Luka you hungry I'm paying?" he asked  
  
"Sure Ill take you up on your offer" Luka said. The waitress showed up and they told her their orders and she walked off  
  
"So Luka what part of Croatia are you from?" she asked  
  
"Vukavor" he said  
  
"Ooh is it nice there?" she asked  
  
"Yeah I went back there for Christmas and they rebuilt it and it looks better since the war" he said looking down into his coffee cup  
  
"Luka! there you are I've been looking all over for you" Abby said as she walked through the door  
  
"Hi Abby" Luka said, "Have you met Susan?" yes I have hey Susan  
  
"Hi Abby why don't you sit down and join us" Susan said   
  
"Sure why not its still slow in there and Kerry is off today so I don't think we have to worry about her" Abby said sitting next to Luka   
  
"You hungry Abby?" Luka asked as he put his arm around her  
  
"Yeah but I think Ill just pick at your plate" she said, as she gave him a kiss  
  
"You know what I think we better leave these two lovebirds alone," Carter said  
  
"You know what I agree," Susan said, they went to sit at the counter and finally got their food and told the waiter to send the other plate over to Luka who was sitting with Abby Eskimo kissing  
  
"They are sure a pair" Susan said  
  
"Yeah they are but they are good for each other" Carter said. They ate their food and decided to walk back over to the hospital to see if there was anything to do  
  
"We still slow Randi?" Carter asked when he walked in the door  
  
"Yeah Dr. Carter still nothing" she said smacking her gum looking at a magazine  
  
"Why don't we go into the lounge and watch TV?" he said  
  
"Yeah sounds good" she said as she walked into the lounge, Mark was already in there talking on the phone  
  
"Okay sweetie I guess we can reschedule for another time, I got to go now Ill call you tonight…Okay bye honey" Mark said hanging up the phone  
  
"Rachel?" Carter asked  
  
"Yeah she was planning to come out here this weekend but she broke her ankle and cant make it out" he said taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes  
  
"Sorry Dr. Greene" he said  
  
"Eh what can you do she's a teenager a lot of things happen when you are a teenager" he said  
  
"Yeah well I hope she gets better," Carter said looking for the remote  
  
"So what is on at this time of the day?" Susan asked as Carter flipped the TV on  
  
"I don't know Jerry Springer with the usual I cheated on you with your cousin or something like that" Carter said laughing  
  
"I would be surprised if they had one show that someone did not cheat on their wife or lover," she said  
  
"Mark what do you think we should watch?" Carter asked  
  
"I don't care Carter whatever you want to watch," he said as he stormed out  
  
"What was that all about?" Susan asked  
  
"I don't know Ill go out there and talk to him" he walked outside and caught up to Mark "Hey what the hell is your problem man?" Carter asked   
  
"What are you trying to flaunt your happiness with Susan in my face on purpose?" Mark said obviously upset  
  
"What are you talking about Mark?" he asked  
  
"You know what I mean!" Mark said  
  
"Oh I get it you think that me and Susan have something going on?" Carter said  
  
"Well the way that you act around her its kind of obvious" Mark said  
  
"Nothing is going on Mark and even if it was you had your chance with her and you blew it, you have a lovely wife and kid now she can go on with her life too and I just wish you would be happy for her" Carter said  
  
"I know I should be I'm just a little upset and I didn't mean to take it out on you and her" he said  
  
"That's okay Dr. Greene, what are you doing after work?" he asked  
  
"I'm going to go home eat and try to go to bed if Ella lets us" Mark said  
"Well I have a niece that can watch Ella and why don't you and Elizabeth come to my house and we can sit and talk about old times" he said  
  
"Yeah, that sounds good Carter, Ill take you up on that," he said as he walked off. Carter walked back into the lounge   
  
"Everything okay?" Susan asked   
  
"Yeah I talked to him and he was a little upset about Rachel not being able to come over and I told him why doesn't he and Elizabeth come over tonight, if that's all right with you?" he asked  
  
"Sure we can all catch up on old times," she said as she went back to watching TV  



	6. Dinner

Back to Your Heart   
Part 6  
  
  
"You got everything?" Mark asked the babysitter as he left  
  
"Yes Dr. Greene I'm fine go out and have a good time and tell my uncle I said hi" she said  
  
"Okay thanks for doing this we will be back at midnight help your self to anything in the refrigerator" Mark said as he walked out the door  
  
"That was nice of Carter for finding us a babysitter" Elizabeth said "I hope Ella can stand one night without us" she said  
  
"She can honey don't worry she was asleep when we left she shouldn't be too much trouble for her" Mark said soothing his wife "We need to have a night to ourselves without worrying about her"  
  
"Okay lets enjoy tonight besides I would like to hear old stories about you," she said giving him a kiss on the cheek. At Carters house Carter was walking around the apartment trying to tie his tie  
  
"Hey Susan can you help me out here I'm having a little bit of a problem" he said   
  
"Sure come here, why does this tie look familiar?" she asked   
  
"You bought it for me" he said  
  
"I did didn't I?" she said  
  
"Yep its one of my favorite ties but it seem to have a problem with wanting to tie tonight" he said  
  
"Well not anymore there you go" she said finishing  
  
"Thanks" he said, he looked into her eyes for a while then the doorbell rang "Oh the guests have arrived" he said as he ran to answer the door "Hi Mark and Elizabeth come on in" he said taking Elizabeth's coat off  
  
"Thank you Carter wow you have a lovely home" Elizabeth said as she walked in  
  
"Thank you Elizabeth have a seat you guys want something to drink?" he asked   
  
"Yeah Ill have a beer," Mark said  
  
"Me too" Elizabeth said  
  
"All right two beers coming, up how about you Susan?" he asked  
  
"Oh Ill have one too" she said  
  
"Ill help you get them" Mark said getting up leaving the two women to themselves  
  
"So" Susan said  
  
"So" Elizabeth said, "So you have lived in Phoenix for a couple of years right?" Elizabeth asked  
  
"Yes its really nice out there, but I missed Chicago too much and came back" she said  
  
"Okay here are the beers dinner should be ready shortly" Carter said handing Susan a beer and sitting down next to her. They all sat there in an awkward silence for a while, until Susan decided to break the silence  
  
"So Mark, how did you guys get together?" Susan asked  
  
"Well Elizabeth came to us a year after you left and she was dating Peter for a while and Elizabeth was supposed to give this speech and I was one of the people attending that conference well we got there late and we were looking all over the place for this conference room and ended getting locked in the basement so we are down for there for a hour maybe and we finally get let out and by the time we found the room the conference was over, so we decided to go to a bar that was there in the hotel, and we are sitting there talking drinking and I hear the tango playing in the background from a wedding that was going on so I ask Elizabeth if she wanted to crash a wedding we did the tango and things just kind of grew from there" he said  
  
"Wow how romantic" Susan said  
  
"Yeah, Mark is not much of a romantic but he can be" Elizabeth said   
  
"Well I think dinner is ready" Carter said going into the kitchen to get the roast out of the oven  
  
"Well I better get in there before he breaks something" Susan said following him into the kitchen. They brought the roast out to the table and set it down. They ate dinner in silence.   
  
"Wow that was good Carter you did a good job," Mark said  
  
"Yeah well it was really all Susan I'm not that good of a cook  
  
"Well it was good Susan" Elizabeth said  
  
"Thank you Elizabeth" Susan said  
  
"Well I propose a toast" Carter said, "To good friends may there always be good times like this" he said   
  
"Cheers" they all said  
  
"Well I'm going to put a pot of coffee on why don't we all adjourn to the living room" Susan said  
  
"Sounds good" Mark said. They all walked into the living room and sat down   
  
"So Carter, how are things going with you and Susan" Elizabeth asked   
  
"Pretty good we are becoming better friends" he said  
  
"That's good" Elizabeth said  
  
"So how do you take your coffee Elizabeth?" Susan asked  
  
"Cream and sugar" Elizabeth answered  
  
"Okay here you go Mark black right?" she asked  
  
"Yep" he said as he took the cup from her hand  
  
"Carter just cream here you go," she said as she handed him a cup  
  
"Thank you Susan," he said. Later on that night they were all laughing and telling jokes  
  
"Remember that time we put a cast on Carter's leg Mark?" Susan said laughing hysterically  
  
"You did what?" Elizabeth said   
  
"Well it was a really slow morning in the ER around Christmas time I believe" Susan said, "Me and Mark were really bored and Carter was asleep in one of the exam rooms well we went in there and while he was sleeping put a cast around his leg" she said  
  
"You did not," Elizabeth said laughing  
  
"Yep, then we got on the intercom and told him to run to a trauma room stat and he comes rushing out of the room falling all over the place and the whole staff is watching him laughing in hysterics" Mark said  
  
"Ha, ha, ha everyone loves to play a joke on the poor med-student" Carter said not looking to amused  
  
"Well it's getting late and we need to get home now," Mark said looking at his watch   
  
"Yeah I'm sure your niece would like to go home," Elizabeth said, "Well thank you again for a lovely evening" Elizabeth said, I really enjoyed it"   
  
"Yes I really enjoyed getting to know you better Elizabeth" Susan said walking with Carter to show them out the door  
  
"Ill see you guys tomorrow at work" Carter said "drive safely"   



	7. Forever in My Heart

Back to Your Heart   
Part 7  
  
Carter woke up a bit early one morning and was going into the kitchen to make something for breakfast when he walked by Susan's door and stood there and watched her sleep peacefully, she had been there for a couple there for a couple of months now and he really enjoyed her being there. She was definitely not like Kerry she didn't play her music loud and wasn't up early in the morning making weird juices. Yet he also noticed that there was something going on between them besides being good friends and then he remembered what happened when he fell in love with Anna and didn't want to tell her how he felt and get his heart stomped on he wasn't sure why she had came back and didn't want to ask until she was ready. He was standing by her door watching her sleep and was ready to walk off to go get ready for work  
  
"Good morning" Susan said  
  
"Oh I'm sorry did I wake you?" he asked  
  
"No I was kind of already awake, saw you standing there watching me sleep" she said  
  
"Oh you did huh?" he asked a little embarrassed  
  
"Yeah its okay Carter, just don't do it again" she joked  
  
"Okay, so you hungry?" he asked  
  
"Yeah I am, I say we go out and I don't suggest Doc Magoos," she said joking  
  
"Okay well what else is open at this early in the morning" he wondered  
  
"Well how about Denny's?" she said  
  
"That sounds good Ill go and get ready for work and we should be out of here in a half an hour" he said walking out   
  
"Sounds good John" she said, she was kind of shocked that she had called him that, she hadn't called him that since they were up on the rooftop drinking champagne and joking around. She thought nothing about it and got up and got ready  
  
"You look good today" Carter said noticing that she was wearing some new clothes  
  
"Thank you Carter, shall we go?" she said on her way out the door. They went and ate breakfast and headed to County to start their day, when they got there it seemed like something wasn't right like there was something going on and they were the ones left out  
  
"Hey Randi what's with everyone today?" Carter asked the brown haired receptionist  
  
"Haven't you checked your messages on your answering machine?" Randi asked  
  
"No, why what happened?" Carter asked  
  
"Dr. Greene was brought in last night and he didn't look too good," Randi said, at that Susan rushed to the elevator  
  
"Wait up Susan, what floor is he on?" he asked  
  
"The fifth Elizabeth is up there already" she said  
  
"Thanks Randi" he said, he ran over to the elevator to catch it before it closed and hit the 5th floor button, "Come on you stupid thing go faster" Carter said and next thing he knew they were upstairs and running to find Mark's room  
  
"What room is Mark Greene in" Susan asked the nurse   
  
"Room 503" the nurse said not looking up from the chart she was reading  
  
"Thanks" Carter said as they walked to find the room   
  
"Here it is" Susan said as they finally reached the room. They walked in and saw Mark with an oxygen mask on his face and Elizabeth sitting next to him with tears in her eyes  
  
"Elizabeth we came up here as soon as we heard how is he doing?" Carter asked  
  
"Not too good he said he was feeling really sick last night and he threw up some blood," she said  
  
"Elizabeth why don't you go get some coffee we will stay here with him" Susan said  
  
"No I shouldn't leave his side," she said  
  
"Elizabeth you look horrible go get some coffee we will go down there with you" Susan said wrapping an arm around her  
  
"All right but I want to come back up here afterwards" she said  
  
"Sure Elizabeth lets go" Carter said. They walked down to the cafeteria to see Abby and Luka down there talking, Abby walked up to Carter as he walked in   
  
"How is he doing?" Abby asked  
  
"Not too good" Carter said  
  
"Oh man I cant believe this, how is she?" Abby asked pointing at Elizabeth who was paying the cashier for her cup of coffee  
  
"Emotionally drained, I don't think Mark has too much longer, I talked to the doctor who said he had been up before and not looking too good" he said sitting down   
  
"You mean he has been keeping this from her?" Luka asked  
  
"Yeah I guess, either that or she hasn't told anyone that she knew" Carter said. Elizabeth and Susan joined them and they all sat there in silence   
  
"Well I better go back up there with him" Elizabeth said getting up to leave  
  
"We will go with you" Luka said  
  
"Thank you guys you have been a real good friends to Mark and I and I'm sure he really appreciates it" Elizabeth said. They went up to his room and sat there talking while Elizabeth was showing some of the baby pictures to Susan  
  
"Wow she is really adorable, she looks a lot like Mark" Susan said  
  
"No she looks more like her mother" Mark asked groggily   
  
"Mark buddy how you feeling?" Carter asked walking over next to him  
  
"Not too good Carter" he said  
  
"Would you like me to get a doctor?" he asked  
  
"No I need to talk to Elizabeth for a second can we have some time alone guys?" he asked, they all started to exit "Wait Susan I want to talk to you too" he said   
  
"What is it Mark?" Elizabeth asked  
  
"I know that I kept this from you and I'm really sorry but I didn't want to worry you, Elizabeth you know I love you and you were the best thing that came into my life it was the happiest day in my life when you agreed to marry me and when you had my baby, I just wish that I could be there to watch her grow up into a lady" he said  
  
"Mark don't do this" Elizabeth said in tears  
  
"Elizabeth I'm going to miss you and I will always keep you in my heart" he said  
  
"Susan, I have something to say to you. You were a really good friend to me and you were there for me with whatever I went through and you are always going to be in my heart, and Ill miss you both" he said  
  
"Mark don't talk that way you are going to be fine," Elizabeth said  
  
"Elizabeth the doctor said himself I'm going to have no meaningful recovery," he said  
  
"No Mark you cant leave me I don't know how I would live my life without you" Elizabeth said in tears  
  
"I know honey, I need you to get Jennifer and Rachel here so I can say goodbye, and I want you to let them handle everything I don't want to burden you with that" he said  
  
"Sure, whatever you want" Elizabeth said  
  
"What would you like me to do?" Susan asked  
  
"I want you to be there for Elizabeth and make sure she is going to be okay," he said. They left the room in tears   
  
"You girls okay?" Luka asked   
  
"Yeah, um we need to call Jennifer and Rachel" Susan said  
  
"Ill go and do that" Elizabeth said "And we need to think about getting him put into a hospice" she said, "which we can worry about later, I think he needs to find somewhere comfortable to be in his final hours" she said sitting down on the bench   
  
"Well we need to get back to work let us know if you want us to come up and watch him" Abby said as she gave Elizabeth a hug and walked towards the elevator. They sat upstairs waiting outside his door keeping a silent vigil, when they saw two familiar faces run towards them  
  
"We got on the next available flight out here" Jennifer said out of breath, "How is he doing?" she asked Elizabeth   
  
"Not too good Jennifer I think we need to move him into a hospice soon" Elizabeth said still in tears  
  
"Susan what are you doing here" Jennifer said hugging her  
  
"Well I moved back and I'm back to work here, how is she doing" Susan said pointing at a half asleep Rachel   
  
"She isn't taking it too well, I think she is too tired" Jennifer said  
  
"Well why don't you guys stay at my place for the night" Carter said "He is pretty much asleep for the night maybe you can talk to him when he is more awake"  
  
"Yeah thank you Carter you are a good friend to Mark" Jennifer said  
  
"Your welcome here its on the corner of Simpson and Hunter and here is the address" Carter said writing the information down on a piece of paper  
  
"Wow this must be really hard on them" Elizabeth said as she watched Mark's first love and their daughter walk over to the elevator and get on. Days passed they moved Mark to a hospice and the most of the staff visited every day to check up on Mark, Elizabeth was operating with Romano  
  
"Lizzie you look horrible" Romano noted  
  
"Well I've been at the hospice almost every night I cant have your devastating good looks all the time" she said a little annoyed  
  
"Point well taken" he said, at that her pager went off  
  
"Shirley can you check that for me" Elizabeth asked  
  
"Sure Dr. Corday," she looked at it "It says 411" Shirley said a little alarmed  
  
"Oh my god Mark" Elizabeth said ripping her gown off and running out the door. She got in her car and drove to the hospice not even bothering to change out of her scrubs and ran into his room  
  
"Mrs. Greene it would be wise to start saying your goodbyes now I don't think he is going to make it through the night" the priest that worked there said  
  
"Oh my god" Elizabeth said. She went to go dial numbers of family and co-workers right away to tell them to come down if they wanted to say goodbye. People started showing up, Susan and Carter were the first to show up  
  
"Hey how are you" Susan said as she ran up to Elizabeth and gave her a hug  
  
"Could be a lot better Susan," as she said at that more people started showing up Peter, Luka, Abby, a bunch of the nurses and almost the whole ER staff from county, they sat around the room Mark laid in and told stories  
  
"I remember when we caught him and Jennifer in the bathroom" Susan said which Jennifer wasn't too amused a that  
  
"Well I couldn't find my earring" she joked   
  
"Where is Rachel?" Peter asked   
  
"Well we have been staying at Carters house and she is at home watching TV we figured it wasn't good for her to watch her daddy die  
  
"That's smart" Abby said  
  
"Yeah that can really traumatize a child," Carter said. As Carter said that Mark started breathing erratically  
  
"Oh god" Elizabeth said   
  
"Will someone get the priest so he can do last rights" Jennifer said as she took the opposite side of Elizabeth and holding Mark's hand  
  
"Ill get him," Luka said as he ran out of the room. The priest came in and administered last rights and just like that Mark passed away the whole room was in tears as they watched one of the best men at county lay there dead. Elizabeth just sat there and held his hand not saying or moving  
  
"You okay Elizabeth?" Susan asked  
  
"Always in my heart" Elizabeth said under her breath and let go of his hand. They all walked out of the room and they walked out of the hospice and headed home. Susan and Carter on their way home  
  
"Oh man its going to be a lot more different without Mark around" Carter said  
  
"I know at least he went peacefully" Susan said "Hey Carter you think we can drive around for a while Jennifer needed some time alone to tell Rachel and I told her we would give the house to them for most of the night" Susan said  
  
"Yeah why don't we take a drive up to the lake or something?" he said  
  
"Okay lets do that," Susan said. They drove around for a good hour and stopped at the river overlooking the city "This just reminds me how much I missed Chicago, its nice out here at night" she said  
  
"Yeah, look Susan, when we were in there I realized something when you left for Phoenix Mark never told you how he felt and it ate at him for the longest time, and I don't want that to happen to us" Carter said as they were sitting on the hood of his car  
  
"What are you trying to say Carter?" Susan asked  
  
"What I'm saying is Susan I've liked you for the longest time and when you came back I wasn't too positive on love and when I'm around you I light up and I get the feeling that you get the same way. What I'm trying to say is Susan Lewis I love you and I've wanted you to know that for the longest time and were to afraid to tell you" he said  
  
"John I feel the same way and was too chicken to tell you" Susan said  
  
"So what is this you are trying to say that you don't feel the same what did you call me?" he asked shocked  
  
"John, I feel the same way and I don't want to go through what I went through with Mark and not tell him my feelings so I think you should just shut up and kiss me," Susan said as he put his fingers on her mouth and kissed her  



	8. Goodbye friend

Back to Your Heart  
Part 8  
  
A couple of days passed after Mark had passed away and it was the day of his funeral, Carter was in his room getting ready, Elizabeth and Jennifer had asked him to be a pallbearer.  
  
"You almost ready?" Susan asked as she poked her head through the door  
  
"Yeah almost" he said putting his tie on "I can't believe we are going to bury our best friend today that man was there for me a lot of the time and its going to be really tough" he said  
  
"I know, but at least he is not suffering anymore" she said walking over towards him giving him a kiss  
  
"How is Jennifer and Rachel," he asked  
  
"Jennifer is a mess and I think Rachel is worse," she said  
  
"Man I can't imagine what they are going through right now," he said  
  
"Yeah" she said  
  
"You two love birds ready" Rachel said poking her head through the door  
  
"Yes we are Rachel" Susan said. They walked out the door and got into his car and drove to the funeral home, they got there and it was decorated really beautiful, everyone from the hospital was there, they were walking towards the building when they saw two familiar faces talking to Kerry  
  
"Doug, Carol?" Carter asked  
  
"Hey Carter!!" Doug said giving his old friend a hug  
  
"I wasn't sure you were guys were going to make it" he said  
  
"Well he was a good man and I got some time off," he said  
  
"And Carol its really good to see you" he said giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek   
  
"So Carter where is Susan" Carol asked  
  
"Oh she is over there talking to Abby and Luka," he said  
  
"I heard that you guys are really hitting it off" Doug said Carol ribbed him and Carter laughed  
  
"Yeah we are and I'm really happy" he said   
  
"That's good Carter" Carol said "I'm happy for the two of you"   
  
"It is starting guys we better go inside" Kerry said   
  
"Here we go" Carter said. The whole ER was there and they sat next to each other when they got in there. It was a beautiful funeral, and a sad one at that. After it was over they all went over to Kerry's house for dinner  
  
"I am sure going to miss him," Doug said as they were all sitting around Kerry's house talking  
  
"Me too, he was really a good guy" Carol said wiping the tears out of her eyes  
  
"Hey I have an idea," Carter said walking over to the bar, "Guys can you help me out here?" the guys came back with a bunch of shot glasses in there hands and some Irish Whiskey "Lets give him a nice toast" he said pouring the liquor in the glasses  
  
"I'm for that," Luka said as he grabbed a shot glass   
  
"Okay I guess we can go around and make our own little toasts Ill start" Kerry said  
  
"Mark, you were a great man and a nice guy to work with and I had the great privilege of knowing you and will always miss you. Cheers" she said as she shot back her shot  
  
"Okay I guess Ill go next" Carter said "Mark you are a good person and a great father I know that your daughters will grow up to be as kind and as brilliant and loving as you were."   
  
"Cheers" they said as they shot back their shots and refilled them  
  
"Okay I'll go" Doug said "Hey buddy its me you know how I feel you are like my big brother and when I need my ass out of the fire I know that you will be up there helping me" he said  
  
"Cheers" they all said. They went around telling little stories and taking shots until they were a little too drunk and thought it was time to go home  
  
"Thanks Kerry" Peter and Cleo said as they grabbed their coats and walked out   
  
"Night Peter and Cleo" she said as she shut the door behind them  
  
"Well I guess its time for us to leave too" Doug said as he started to get up   
  
"Where you guys staying?" Kerry asked   
  
"A nice little motel" Carol said   
  
"No you are not I insist that you guys stay here tonight" she said  
  
"No Kerry we don't want to be a bother" Doug said  
  
"No that's okay I got a extra bedroom downstairs you guys can have that tonight" she said  
  
"Yeah that was my old bedroom" Carter piped up from behind them  
  
"All right we will stay here for the night" Doug said not wanting to fight with Kerry  
  
"Well we better go home" Susan said getting up from the couch that she and Carter were sitting on   
  
"Night Susan night Carter" she said as she closed the door behind them  
  
"Wow I think I had way too much to drink" Carter said  
  
"Yeah me too I say we go home and go to bed" Susan said  
  
"You know that sounds like a good idea," Carter said opening her door for her and gave her a kiss  
  
"What's that for" Susan asked   
  
"I love you Susan," he said  
  
"I love you too John" she said giving him a kiss. They drove home and it was still early so they sat down on the couch in each other's arms and watched TV until they fell asleep  



	9. Cant fight the moonlight (nc-17)

Back to Your Heart   
Part 9  
  
It was a normal day for Susan, Carter had that day off so she worked all alone expecting for Carter to grab her and pull her into an exam room to make out with her but he wasn't there but it was okay he needed sleep, and she thought maybe they could go out later that night and have some fun. She was finishing up some paper work in the lounge when Kerry walked in there carrying a bouquet of roses  
  
"Wow Kerry those are beautiful," she said admiring them "Who are they for?" she asked  
  
"You" she said "Here its even signed To Susan can't wait till you get home got a special evening for you signed John" Susan laughed  
  
"I can't believe he sent me flowers how sweet" she said taking them and sniffing the lovely scent  
  
"Well it sounds like you are in for a fun night, why don't you go ahead and go home early Ill cover for you" she said  
  
"Thank you Kerry" she said, she got her stuff together and walked out and headed home. When she got home the whole house was lit with candles and there was a trail of rose pedals leading towards the back she followed them until she got to the bathroom and saw John standing there holding a rose a bottle of wine in his hand, and a bubble bath behind him  
  
"Welcome home" he said  
  
"Let me guess you convinced Kerry to let me go home early tonight" she asked, he gave her puppy dog eyes like he had been caught  
  
"Guilty I guess, why don't you go ahead and climb in while I go get two glasses" he said  
  
"Okay" she said, "just don't be too long" she got undressed and got inside the tub and was getting all comfortable when John walked in pouring the glasses of wine  
"Here you go," he said handing her a glass, she went to grab it "No, no kiss first" he said  
  
"Oh I see how it is," she said reaching up and giving him a long passionate kiss "Now get in here" she said   
  
"Okay" he got undressed and got in the tub with her. They laid there for a while and were just letting the bubbles relax them "You hungry?" he asked  
  
"Yeah" she said just content in being there  
  
"Good cause I also cooked dinner and its in the kitchen, so why don't you go ahead and put something comfortable on and Ill see you in the dining room" he said as he got out of the tub. She got out right after him and he wrapped her up in a towel and helped dry her off and gave her a kiss on the nose as he went to get his robe on, she stood there for a while towel drying her hair and went into her room to put the nice lingerie that he had bought her for her birthday and her robe. She walked into the living room and there was nice soft mellow music playing and Carter was bringing the dinner out  
  
"Wow that smells good John," she said as she walked into the dining room where he was just finishing lighting the candles, "I cant believe you actually cooked" she said as she sat down  
  
"Well I had some help from my gamma so she should get most of the credit" he said  
  
"Well I can't thank her the way I want to thank you," she said   
  
"Mm later right now lets eat," he said. They ate dinner and were sitting there talking when a really romantic song came on the radio "Come on dance with me" Carter said  
  
"Right here?" Susan asked   
  
"Yeah, right here" Carter said. They got up and swayed to the music like they were dancing on a cloud, Susan looked up into his beautiful brown eyes and saw that he was staring right back at her, and he softly and passionately kissed  
"Why don't we take this into the bedroom" Carter said as he lifted her off of her feet and carried her into the bedroom. He laid her on the bed and slowly slipped her robe off and as he did he kissed her chest, he slipped off her nightie and threw it to the corner of the room he stood up and took off his robe he stood her up and pulled the covers back on the bed and laid her down  
  
"Carter you know I want you right now?" she said  
  
"Hold on I got to go get something" he said as he ran out of the room and came back with some whip cream "Lay back" he said. As she laid he carefully spread some whip cream all over her body and licked it off. He got situated at the end of her body and decided to work his magic he went down and worked on her senses sending every bit of shock into her body as his tongue played with her   
  
"John" Susan grunted through her teeth. He continued working his magic with his tongue not missing a beat as he darted her clitoris with his tongue, he knew she was about to explode and he enjoyed making her happy so he slipped a finger in and began pushing it in and out as he played with her as she exploded with pleasure  
  
"I think you liked that too much" he said as he moved his body up onto hers   
  
"Yeah, now its my turn" she said, she remembered that he still had those red cuffs that someone gave him on Valentines Day and so she fished them out of his side drawer and cuffed his hands to the railing. She worked her body down his leaving kisses as she slinked her way down to his crotch and began to kiss his inner thigh, she knew it was driving him nuts cause she looked up and saw how eager he was and how big of a smile he had on his face. She finally after teasing him for so long took him in her mouth and moved it in and out sending every pulsating feeling through both of them   
  
"Oh god" Carter said, she finally thought she would let up before he exploded and returned to his side letting him out of the cuffs.   
  
As soon as she let him go he flipped her over "Its your turn to be in these now" he said as he kissed her wrist and put it in the cuff and kissed her other wrist and tied her to the bed. He went back into the drawer where she dug the handcuffs out of and retrieved a condom and put it on, he slowly entered her as she gasped at the feeling of him being inside of her. He moved in and out of her slowly and then got faster and faster until he felt like he was going to explode, but being the gentleman he was he wanted her to have the experience first  
  
"Oh..god..John" she said gasping as he moved faster and faster. She kept her fists tightened as she felt like she was just going to scream out. Susan let out her last couple of grunts as her climax neared she knew she couldn't handle it anymore and by the way John looked he couldn't either and they both screamed out there pleasure Carter finally collapsed on top of her trying to catch his breath laughing and kissing her neck at the same time  
  
"What's so funny" she asked curious to her laughing mate  
  
"I just thought about how I am going to un-cuff you" he said  
  
"Okay very funny John get the key out and undo these" she said  
  
"Okay fine" he said as he searched the drawer for the key and unlocked the cuffs. They both laid there for a while in afterglow until Carter got up   
  
"Where you going?" she asked  
  
"Be right back" he said. He came back with a tub of ice cream "I thought we could have some dessert" he said giving her one of the spoons he had in his hand  
  
"Sounds good to me of course I'm not one to turn down sweet things," she said as she gave him a kiss  



	10. Baby has got a secret

Back To Your Heart  
Part 10  
  
It was a normally busy day in the ER and Susan was running around trying to do rounds with Luka   
  
"Guy in 3 needs to go up to CT tell them to hurry he has been waiting all day, guy in 4 needs his head stitched up, guy in 2 is going through heroin withdrawals so better to leave him alone for a while" she said handing his charts  
  
"Okay Susan go home you have been on all day and you don't look to good," he said  
  
"Okay Luka I'm gone out of your hair, have a nice night," she said walking into the lounge. She grabbed her stuff and headed out the door, she was on her way home when she got sick, and decided to head back to the hospital, she got in there and she ran into Kerry  
  
"You okay Susan?" she asked  
  
"Does it look like I'm okay Kerry," she yelled  
  
"Okay why don't we get you into a room and check you out" she said as she helped her into a room. She got Susan into a room and Abby was in there  
  
"Is she okay?" the brown hair nurse asked  
  
"I don't know she looks sick" Kerry said "Why don't we run some tests on her to rule out a couple of things, Ill be right back Susan" Kerry said as she walked out  
  
"You thinking what I'm thinking, she is showing some of the symptoms and I think she was getting sick the other day in the bathroom" Abby said "I had asked her if she was okay she said it was the flu but I doubt it" she said  
  
"Yeah why don't you get a pregnancy test," Kerry said as she walked back to the admit desk. Abby walked back in with a urine cup  
  
"Here why don't you go fill this up so we can run the tests," Abby said as she tossed Susan the cup  
  
"Okay" Susan said as she went into the bathroom and came back with the cup filled  
  
"You should of caught me earlier it would have been a lot fuller" she joked as she gave it back  
  
"Okay I will go give this to the lab and we should have everything back" she said as she walked out handing the cup to Chuny  
  
"Hey Chuny I'm off will you take these up to the lab and put a hurry on them?" she said  
  
"Sure, who are they for?" she asked  
  
"The lady in 4" she said as she ran to catch up with Luka who was also on his way out. Susan waited in the room for what seemed like hours when Kerry showed back up   
  
"Well it looks like my guess was right congratulations Susan," she said looking at her chart  
  
"What?" Susan shocked  
  
"Yep I would guess two weeks along" Kerry said  
  
"Oh my god" Susan said, remembering that time that Carter didn't use a condom  
  
"Well I will keep this to myself and will not tell anyone till you are ready" Kerry said   
  
"Thanks Kerry I owe you one" she said getting dressed  
  
"No problem Susan, now go home and enjoy the rest of the day" she said as she walked out of the room to get back to work  
  
Susan got home, and unlocked the door to find that Carter hadn't returned home yet, "He must be out" she said as she put her stuff down, she sat down and wondered how she was going to tell him, and how can she deal with another kid, she had lost little Suzy and wondered what would happen if something had happened to this one, or if the pregnancy test was wrong she couldn't bare to feel that loss again, she turned the TV on and fell asleep watching it and didn't wake up till Carter got home  
  
"Susan, you home?" Carter said as he walked in putting his stuff down   
  
"Carter do you have to yell I'm right here" she said as she lifted her head up  
  
"Sorry" he said as he gave her a kiss "How was your day?" he asked  
  
"It was normal, busy," she said as she stood up, she felt like telling him but decided to wait until she was right  
  
"Well why don't you go ahead and lay back down and I will go take a shower," he said as he went into the bathroom. He got finished taking a shower and was walking into the kitchen to get a sandwich to eat when he heard some muffled crying, he walked over to see what was wrong "Susan you okay?" he asked   
  
"Nothing John I was just upset about a patient I had today a little girl who lost her parents in a car wreck," she said, as she wiped her face  
  
"Yeah that's tough to have those kind of cases," he said pulling her close   
  
"Yeah its even worse when it happens to someone you love," she said  
  
"What do you mean by that?" he asked  
  
"Well, I've been keeping this to myself and well the reason I came back is because a couple of months before I got here I lost Suzy and Chloe to a car wreck" she said in tears  
  
"Oh my god Susan why didn't you say anything?" he asked shocked  
  
"Well I didn't want it running around the hospital and me looking like a poor victim," she said getting up from the couch   
  
"Susan, you can't keep things like this from everyone" he said walking towards her  
  
"I know John, but its hard to talk about it" she said   
  
"Susan I'm sorry I really wish I had known" he said embracing her. They sat down on the couch "Do you want to tell me how it happened?" he asked  
  
"I don't know John" she said "Its kind of hard to talk about"  
  
"I know it's hard to talk about traumatic experiences but remember what happened to me I shut people out and it drove me to bad things" he said  
  
"John I'm not going to start using drugs I just don't want to talk about it" she said   
  
"Susan please tell me, it will make you feel better to vent," he said  
  
"Okay John, I guess you are not going to let up," she said sitting down in the armchair next to the couch. She sighed "Well it was around Christmas time and we were out shopping looking for something for Joe and I reached back to hand Suzy something and a truck was on the wrong side of the road and I tried to swerve to miss it and he crashed right into me, my airbag went off but it turns out Chloe's seatbelt was really flimsy and it sent her flying through the window and she died on the way to the hospital and Suzy was alive but she died up in surgery" she said now crying her eyes out  
  
"Oh Susan honey I'm so sorry I wish you would of called us and we would have been there for you" he said as he reached out for her hand  
  
"I couldn't I was too crushed and upset and I ended up leaving my attending position there and called here to see if there was a job open" she said  
  
"Susan, you know you have good friends here that will be there for you in whatever happens in your life" he said  
  
"You are a very wonderful woman who I am happy to call my own, you know I love you right?" he asked  
  
"Yes I do John and I'm glad to be here with you now" she said  
  
"Okay well I propose that we go out tonight," he said as he grabbed her by the wrist   
  
"Okay why not" she said. She felt like she had a burden lifted off her chest but she knew that she had one more thing to tell John but that could be saved for a later time  



	11. Valentines Day

Back to Your Heart  
Part 11  
  
Susan and Carter laid in bed that night, Susan still couldn't believe what she had said to him that night. She wasn't wanting to open up to John on what had happened to the little girl that she had raised and pretty much called her own and her sister, but it felt good to get that out in the open.  
  
She still wasn't sure how she was going to tell him about the little bundle of joy that she carried, she finally came to the realization that she could not sleep so she got out from under John's arm and walked outside she found a little chair and made herself comfortable and got out a cigarette and lit it and took a drag, it had been something that she tried to give up but it was impossible now with the baby on the way she would have to. She hadn't been sitting there long when she heard John come out  
  
"What are you doing out here?" he asked yawning  
  
"Couldn't sleep," she said taking another drag off the cigarette  
  
"You know that's bad for you?" he asked sitting next to her  
  
"I know, I stopped it for a while then the accident happened and I took it up again" she said taking off another drag  
  
"Well I understand that with tomorrow being Valentines Day" he said looking a little sad  
  
"Oh I'm sorry John it must be hard for you" she said  
  
"Yeah but I have to move on that's what they told me in rehab" he said, "So what time are you on?" he asked   
  
"Nine, how about you?" she asked  
  
"Same, that's cool we can spend Valentines Day at work he said   
  
"Yeah sounds fun," she said sarcastically, "I'm heading back inside you coming" she asked as she put her cigarette out  
  
"Yeah" he said following her back inside.   
  
The next day was a pretty normal day for the ER kids who got sick eating too much candy and the normal cooks and weirdoes, the weird thing about it was Carter had been ignoring Susan all day he didn't even wish her a happy Valentines Day, she had wondered if he had freaked out about what she had told him the night before  
  
"Hey Susan" Chen said as she walked into the lounge  
  
"Hey Chen, how is your day going?" she asked the Chinese doctor who was pouring herself a cup of coffee  
  
"Pretty good how about you?" she asked  
  
"Bad Carter seems to be ignoring me he hasn't even wished me a happy Valentines Day" she said  
  
"That's odd maybe it's because of what happened" she said  
  
"I don't know" she said, "You are his best friend right?" Susan asked  
  
"Yeah I guess I am" Chen said  
  
"Well can you ask him what is wrong for me?" she asked  
  
"Sure Susan" Chen said walking out of the lounge "Oh and Susan congratulations on the baby" she said   
  
"Ugh let me guess Chuny told you?" Susan asked  
  
"Of course whom else would I get my info from?" she said as she exited   
  
"Ugh I'm going to kill her" she said her face still in shock "by now the whole hospital knows," she said as she walked out of the lounge to find Chuny. Chen walked up to the roof where Carter was sitting up there drinking a cup of coffee  
  
"Slow day huh?" Chen asked as she got up there  
  
"Yeah but I bet you it will get busy later" he said taking a sip  
  
"I was talking to Susan and she was wondering why you were ignoring her" she asked  
  
"Oh cause I have something cooked up for her" he said with a big grin on his face  
  
"What is it?" She asked  
  
"Oh you want me to tell you so you can go back to her and tell her" he asked   
  
"No I wont tell I promise" she said  
  
"No I want it to be a surprise I won't actually say it until later" he said looking out on the busy city  
  
"Okay whatever John" she said as she walked off "You know I'm really happy for you two" she said as she walked off  
  
"Me too" he said. Later on that day he was walking around the hospital it wouldn't be too long before the party got up and running, he felt that there was something he needed to do before he went to join the party, he walked into the familiar room and sat on the gurney "Hey Lucy I guess its been a while since I've come in here to think about what happened, but I wanted to tell you even though I never admitted it I liked you and have never stopped thinking about you, but its time for me to move on I am about to ask the woman I love to marry me" he said looking down in the ring he had in his hand  
  
"I know she will make you happy" a voice said from the corner of the room  
  
"Lucy?" he said shocked  
  
"Yeah John its me I want to congratulate you on finding someone, I knew you would" she said as she walked over to him  
  
"You did?" he asked  
"Yeah who do you think sent her back to you silly?" she said as she sat down  
  
"Oh Lucy I miss you a lot" he said  
  
"I know John but you got a good life a head of you and I will always be there to watch over you," she said "Now you go out there and have a good time and propose to your girl I have to go now" she said  
  
"Lucy please don't go yet" he said  
  
"I have to John, remember I will always be there for you" she said as she disappeared. Kerry came in to see John sitting there staring out into space  
  
"You okay Carter?" she asked  
  
"Yeah I'm fine I was just going to take a nap but I changed my mind," he said as he put the ring back in his pocket and went to the admit area to join the party. It was a nice party everyone was dancing having a great time the music was definitely loud but they had made sure they had all the staff around and nobody was lying half dead in one of the rooms  
  
"YOU WANT TO DANCE?" Carter yelled at Susan over the music  
  
"SURE!" she said as they walked over to the dance floor, they were dancing to a great song when Carter walked over to the radio and put on a slow song he walked over to Susan where they danced for it felt like the longest time "I thought you were mad at me" she said in his ear  
  
"Why would I be?" he asked  
  
"I don't know you have been ignoring me all day" she said  
  
"Well I will get to that later right now I just want to hold you in my arms" he said pulling her closer  
  
"I think I can live with that," she said as she felt his arms wrap tightly around her. They danced to the music for what seemed like hours as others danced around them couples mostly and the others were nurses who convinced some of the docs to dance with them. As soon as the music ended they went to sit down in chairs, they grabbed a couple of sodas and went to sit down  
  
"You hot?" he asked  
  
"Yeah it feels like a sauna in here" she said  
  
"You want to go outside and talk for a while?" he asked  
  
"If its cooler outside I'm there," Susan said as they went into the lounge to grab their coats, they walked outside and sat down at the ambulance bay  
  
"Nice night" he said  
  
"Yeah" she said, "What are you thinking?" she asked   
  
"Oh nothing just enjoying the night" he said looking down at his shoes "Lets go back inside I want some cake," he said taking her by the hand and dragging her back inside. He grabbed two pieces of cake and slipped the ring in one and handed it to her  
  
"Thanks John" she said as she took a bite out of it, he sat there in sheer anticipation waiting for her reaction but he must of put it in there really good cause it he had heard no reaction from her either that or she swallowed it, he went back to eating his cake when she heard a scream of delight come from her "Oh my god" she said as she looked at what she had pulled out of her mouth. Everyone looked over at her thinking she had a heart attack or something  
  
"You okay Susan?" Kerry asked  
  
"Yeah just look what I found in my piece of cake" she said showing the people gathered around her  
  
"Wow that is one impressive rock, you cant even see where the Titanic hit it" Dave said  
  
"I know" Carter said standing in the middle of the crowd "I thought it was perfect for her" he said to the shock of everyone except for the ones who put a bet on when he would propose to her  
  
"Pay up" Randi said to a lot of groans and complaints "Thanks Dr. Carters" she said as she hid the money  
  
"So what do you say Susan will you marry me?" he asked looking at her with his big brown eyes  
  
"I don't know John," she said looking into his eyes  
  
"Please say yes" he said  
  
"I'm sorry John I can't," she said as she ran to the lounge. Everyone stood there in shock at what had just happened right in front of there eyes Carter looked down at the ring he had in his hand and walked off  
  



	12. After the Rejection

Back to Your Heart  
Part 12  
  
Carter followed her into the lounge "What's the matter?" he asked as he opened the door she had slammed in his face  
  
"I don't know if I can marry you John," she said in tears  
  
"Why?" he asked  
  
"Because John I'm already married," she said  
  
"What, why didn't you tell me?" he asked shocked  
  
"Well I didn't expect you to propose to me, hell I didn't even expect us to get together," she said  
  
"Susan, do you still love him?" he asked  
  
"No, I pretty much left him and well he wasn't to upset about it" she said sitting down in tears  
  
"What did he hurt you?" he asked concerned  
  
"Well yes he did and that's another reason why I left after Chloe and Susie were killed he got worse and worse and I just left him" she said looking down at the ground  
  
"Susan, why did you not say anything?" he asked  
  
"Because things were going really well with the two of us and I didn't like I said know you were going to ask me to marry you," she said  
  
"Susan I promise I will never hurt you, you know that I love you too much to ever hurt you" he said walking over towards her embracing her "I'll even help you get a divorce from him if you want to   
  
"I know John but I'm not even sure he would sign the divorce papers," she said  
  
"Well that's something we will have to deal with at that time right now I want to be with you and you don't have to answer me right now, you follow your heart and you can give me your answer when you are ready" he said   
  
"Thank you John I really do love you and you are such a good man" she said   
  
"Well why don't we just go home now" he said  
  
"Sounds good," she said as they grabbed their stuff and walked out  
  
"What do you think they said in there?" Dave said  
  
"I don't know but why don't we leave those two alone for now" Kerry said as everyone went back to partying. The next day they went to the county court to get divorce papers   
  
"Those were pretty easy to get" Carter said as they walked out  
  
"Yeah I thought the judge was going to ask me for blood sample or something" she joked  
  
"Well why don't we get something to eat and mail these off" he said as they got in the car  
  
"I'm up for that," she said. They got in his car and drove around for a while, when they stopped at a little diner and got a couple of hamburgers to go and went back to driving  
  
"It sure is a nice day" Carter said as they drove to the lake where they kissed  
  
"Why are you taking me here?" she asked  
  
"Well we cant eat in the car so I thought this was as good of a place as any" he said getting out  
  
"Whatever John" she said as she got out, they sat there on his hood just eating quietly looking out at the view in front of them   
  
"So where did you meet this guy?" he asked wanting to know more about this mystery man she was married to  
  
"At the hospital, he was an attending down in the ER with me and we went out for a couple of months then we got married" she said looking down  
  
"Well that sounds sweet, I wish you would of invited some of us" he said  
  
"Well it was kind of spur of the moment thing we really didn't plan anything we just got married" she said  
  
"Oh I see," he said looking into her eyes  
  
"Well why don't we go ahead and head home and spend a nice quiet evening together" she said as she grabbed the trash up and threw it in the trashcan  
  
"Sounds good," he said as he got in the car. They drove home to notice that there was a light on in the living room  
  
"Did you forget to turn the light off?" Susan asked  
  
"No I remember turning it off" he said as they got out of the car, they walked up to the front door and noticed that it was unlocked "What's going on?" he asked himself, they got in the house and noticed that it was filled with roses and candles  
  
"See I can give surprises too" she said as he turned around to see her with a smile on her face  
  
"How did you do this?" he asked flabbergasted  
  
"I got some of the girls at the hospital to come in here and do this while we were gone" she said with a smile on her face  
  
"Wow this is wonderful," he said looking around, "But what is it all for?" he asked  
  
"Well John" she said as she walked towards him "I know that you were crushed when you asked me to marry you and I rejected it, that's cause I wasn't really sure what I wanted at that time and I know that I'm ready to go deeper into our relationship" she said   
  
"Susan Lewis are you proposing to me?" he asked  
"I guess you can say that" she said "John will you marry me and all my problems?" she asked as she took out the ring that he had given to her the other night  
  
"How did you find this?" he asked  
  
"I have my ways" she said with a grin on her face "So will you?" she asked again  
  
"Yes I will marry you" he said as he kissed and lifted her off the ground  
  
"Should we tell them we are still here?" Abby asked as they hid in the closet  
  
"Nah, we will just sneak out later," Kerry said  
  
"Yeah besides they look very happy," Chuny said. Carter and Susan finally decided to finish their happiness in the bedroom, which gave the 3 ladies a chance to get out of the closet they were hiding in.  
  
The next day Carter and Susan came in all smiles holding hands and loving all over each other, they passed by all the people that were watching this "Oh by the way if anyone happens to see Abby tell her she left her wallet at my house" Carter said, as they walked into the backroom to get ready for their day of work and left the group standing there with their mouths agape  



	13. Carters Suprise

Back to Your Heart  
Part 13  
  
A couple of weeks passed by and Carter and Susan were busy making arrangements dealing with florists, bands, caterers, and trying to find a priest to do the ceremony. They walked out of the church "Well I like this place" Susan said walking out  
  
"Yeah this will definitely work" Carter said as they got into his car  
  
"Okay so we got the everything we need all we need to do now is find a wedding coordinator," Susan said looking at the list she had in her hand  
  
"A wedding coordinator?" Carter asked   
  
"Yeah someone to plan where the wedding reception is going to be and what it's going to look like, you know a wedding coordinator," she said  
  
"Okay I think I can deal with that," he said. They had to be on that day so they went home and got ready for work and headed towards the hospital "I have to go upstairs I'll see you later," she said as she gave him a kiss and walked over to the elevator. She went up to OBGYN and sat down waiting for her name to be called  
  
"Susan Lewis" the nurse called out   
  
"That's me," she said as she got up and walked over to the nurse who had her chart in her hand   
  
"Okay why don't you step up onto the scale here" the nurse said pointing at the metal scale sitting up against the wall "Wow you seem to be gaining weight there," she said looking at the results  
  
"Oh I'm so thrilled," Susan said sarcastically  
  
"Okay I'm going to take your blood pressure then the doctor will be into see you in a little bit" she said as she wrapped the cuff around her arm and took it "Okay you go ahead and put that gown on and the doctor will be in" she said as she closed the door. After feeling like she was waiting forever Dr. Coburn showed up   
  
"Susan Lewis I knew that name sounded familiar its nice to see that you are back," she said shaking her hand  
  
"Hi Janet" she said feeling a little uneasy  
  
"So can I ask who the father is?" she asked her  
  
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you" she said  
  
"Try me" Coburn said as she was searching for the ultrasound machine  
  
"John Carter" she said  
  
"Really I'm happy for you two" she said as she got the ultrasound ready "Okay why don't you lift your gown up and we will take a look" she said as she squirted some of the goop on Susan's belly "Well it looks like you have a very healthy baby here" she said  
  
"Wow" she said looking at the screen in pure awe at the little life that was inside her   
  
"Okay well its too early to tell if it's a boy or a girl but I'd say you have a very healthy baby and you need to take some pre-natal vitamins" she said handing her the package  
  
"Thanks Dr. Coburn" she said as she left   
  
"No problem Susan and tell John I'm happy for him" she said as she shut the door  
  
"Yeah that's something I will have to tell him," she said to herself as she got dressed and walked out  
  
"Okay your next appointment is two weeks from today," the receptionist said handing her appointment card to her  
  
"Thanks" she said walking out and getting into the elevator, she stood there with the picture from the ultrasound in her hand seeing the little life that she was carrying inside her right in front of her eyes and a tear came to her eye "I know you will never be able to fill the void that little Suzie had but I will love you just the same" she heard the elevator doors beginning to open and she stuck the picture in her pocket and walked off  
  
"So what's the story on the patient in 3?" Carter asked Luka as they were walking down the hallway doing rounds before Luka took off  
  
"I don't know it's a total mystery to me, why don't you get a surgical consult and maybe they can figure it out," he said as he handed him the chart. They rounded the corner and ran straight into Susan who had a big stack of papers in her hands  
  
"Whoa there" Luka said as he helped her grab some of the things she dropped  
  
"Thanks" she said, but in her haste she hadn't noticed that she had dropped the picture of the ultrasound  
  
"Susan you dropped this" he said as he picked it up but she was already gone "Um Carter I think you should look at this," he said as he showed him the picture  
  
"Oh is Abby pregnant?" he asked looking at it  
  
"No it says Lewis" Luka said handing him the picture  
  
"It's what?" he said in total shock  
  
"It's hers congratulations Carter," Luka said patting him on the back and walking off  
  
"Oh my god" he said still in shock "Why didn't she tell me about this?" he asked himself, and went on with his work. He was thinking about it all day when he finally ran into Susan   
  
"Hey you want to go get lunch?" she asked as she signed a patient off  
  
"Sure, I'm famished" she said as she walked into the lounge to get her stuff. They walked over to Doc's and sat down, Carter was about to tell her what he had found but he decided maybe there was a reason she didn't want to tell him, he pushed that thought out of his head and went back to their lunch  
"Thanks for lunch" Susan said as she gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked off, she had wondered if something was going on cause he was acting weird during lunch did someone tell him about the baby. She felt worried all day until it was time to go home, Carter had gone home before her and she was sitting in her car looking at the house wondering if it was time to tell him about the baby "John well what would you say an addition to the house you know like a crib and a changing table, cause I'm pregnant" she said going over her options "Oh this is going to be hard" she said as she got out of the car, she walked up to the door and took a deep breath "Here goes nothing" she said, she opened the door to the shock of her life  



	14. Will you be in the ceremony?

Back to Your Heart   
Part 14  
  
When Susan opened the door she saw the shock of her life she saw Carter standing there with a bunch of baby things he was trying to put together before she got home  
  
"Um surprise" he said as he saw her come in  
  
"John I cant believe you did this, but how do you know I was pregnant?" she asked as she looked at the stuff that he had bought  
  
"You should keep a better hold on your things" he said as he handed her the sonogram picture  
  
"Oh John I was planning on telling you but I wasn't sure if you were going to be happy with me being pregnant" she said as she looked at the picture he had just given back to her   
  
"Why wouldn't I be happy?" he asked  
  
"I don't know you're kind of a complicated person," she said sitting down  
  
"Susan I'm happy that I am going to be a dad and there is nothing that would change the way I love you," he said as he gave her a kiss  
  
"Well now the thing is to tell the people at the hospital" she said  
  
"I don't think we will have to worry about telling them," he said  
  
"Yeah I'm sure everyone already knows by now," Susan said laughing. They got up from the couch and decided to put all the baby things in the extra room   
  
"We can make this into a baby room" Carter said, as he was taking some of the stuff into the room  
  
"What's this?" she asked finding an old box  
  
"Let me see" he said walking over to see what she had in her hand "Oh now how did this stuff get in here  
  
"John, are these baby pictures of you?" Susan asked   
  
"Yes, I thought they would have taken these with them" he said looking through the box  
  
"Well you were a cute baby" she said "I see you still kept the nice little tushie" she said as she found a naked baby picture of him  
  
"Ha, ha, ha" he said taking the picture from him. They spent the whole night looking at old pictures of him, and they fell asleep in the room. Susan woke up the next day and felt really the nausea come   
  
"Oh god" she said as she ran into the bathroom to throw up, Carter had heard her run into the bathroom and followed her in there  
  
"You okay Susan?" he asked as he sat down with her next to the toilet   
  
"Not really John" she said flushing the toilet and rinsing out her mouth "Ugh I thought I was sick when Chloe told me she was pregnant this is a lot worse" she said looking at herself in the mirror  
  
"Nah, you will feel better take a nice shower and get ready for work," he said as he left her to her privacy  
  
"Wish that would be the end all of it John" she said to herself as she got undressed and hopped in the shower. She got out and got ready for work "Okay you John you ready to go" she said as she was going to the door putting her earrings on  
  
"Not yet hold on," he said as he walked out of their room putting his coat on "So are you going to call her today?" Carter asked as they drove towards work  
  
"I don't know you think she would want to come all the way back here to do it?" Susan asked  
  
"Hon you were one of her best friends I'm sure she would be thrilled to do it" he said as he drove into the parking garage  
  
"Yeah I'll call her when we get home tonight" she said  
  
"You better" he joked, "Otherwise we will have an odd ceremony without a maid of honor" he said getting out of the car  
  
"How about you have you asked him to be your best man?" she asked as they got into the elevator  
  
"I'm working on it I'll ask him today" he said. They got inside the ER and noticed that everyone was a little distracted and huddled around the TV  
  
"What's going on," Susan asked  
  
"Bad car accident Luka and Peter went out to the site it doesn't look to good" Abby said  
  
"What are they coming here?" Carter asked  
  
"Yeah I would say by the looks of it half an hour until they get here" Haleah said  
  
"Well then why are we all standing around let's get stuff ready" Carter said calling the troops to order, they got all ready and were standing in wait for the first patient to come in  
  
"Crushed injury to the right leg BP is 110/70 pulse is weak and thready diminished breath sounds on the right," the paramedic said as they wheeled the young man into Trauma 1  
  
"All right everyone on my count 1,2,3" Carter said as they lifted the patient over  
  
"Okay lets get a CBC chem. Panel U.A and woo I would say by the smell of his breath a tox screen," Susan said looking over the patient  
  
"Dr. Carter can you come take a look at this lady" Lydia asked bursting through the doors  
  
"Sure, Susan you got this?" he asked  
  
"Yeah I got it go" she said trying to put a chest tube in  
  
"What's going on?" Carter said as he entered the room   
  
"30 year old female crashed right through the windshield multiple lacerations, good breath sounds but seems to be a little out of it" the second paramedic said  
  
"Okay lets take a look," he said as he walked over to access the patient "Oh my god, Elizabeth" he said as he looked at the bloody face  
  
"What?" Nurse Lydia said   
  
"Its Elizabeth I can recognize that face anywhere" he said looking at her once again  
  
"I thought she was back in England" Lilly said  
  
"Whatever we need to save," he said as he worked on her, he was just finishing up when Susan came through the door "Did she make it?" Carter asked as he looked over into the other room  
  
"Yeah waiting on surgery to take him up," she said "Oh my god Elizabeth?" she said looking at the body still laying on the gurney  
  
"Yeah she is pretty lucky to be alive with a jerk like that behind the wheel," Carter said pointing at the man who was on his way up to surgery  
  
"Stuff happens John we are just lucky that she is still alive," she said comforting him "You want to go in the lounge and get some coffee?" she asked  
  
"Yeah that sounds good," he said taking her hand and walking into the lounge. They sat down on the couch and curled up next to each other "I love you" he said  
  
"I love you too," she said giving him a kiss  
  
"Please you two do you have to do that in here?" Dave asked as he walked in   
"Oh well I have to go back to work anyway" Susan said as she got up   
  
"You going to call her?" Carter asked before she walked out the door  
  
"You are really getting bent out of shape about this John," she said as she walked back over to him "I promise I will call her I'll go do it now" she said as she kissed him "don't worry okay"   
  
"Okay I just want things to go right the wedding is only in a couple of weeks and you still don't have a bridesmaid" he said  
  
"It's okay I will take care of it everything will go fine I promise," she said as she headed for the door. Susan walked out of the lounged and headed for the admit area and picked up the phone "Randi how do you dial out of here?" she asked the desk clerk who was sitting there reading a magazine  
  
"Hit nine and then dial the number," she said not looking up from her magazine  
  
"Thanks" Susan said as she dialed the number. She waited for a while until she heard a familiar voice answer "Hi Doug how are you doing?" she asked  
  
"I'm good Susan we haven't talked since the funeral, how are you doing?" he asked  
  
"Good, is Carol there?" Susan asked  
  
"Yeah sure let me get her" Doug said, Susan heard him shout for Carol, and soon she heard her on the phone  
  
"Hey Susan" Carol said as she answered the phone  
  
"Hey Carol, how are you?" she asked  
  
"I'm good Susan how about you?" Carol asked  
  
"I'm doing great that's the reason I called, Carol I'm getting married" Susan said ecstatically   
  
"You're what!?" Carol said so loud that it made Doug jump  
  
"I'm getting married" Susan repeated  
  
"To Carter?" Carol asked  
  
"Yep, anyway I was hoping that you would come and be my brides maid?" Susan asked as she felt the knot in her stomach grow bigger  
  
"Sure Susan I would love to be" Carol said   
  
"Thanks Carol the wedding is three weeks from tomorrow and I thought you Doug and the girls could come before and you guys could come stay with us" Susan said  
  
"Sure I got some sick leave I can use, and I'm sure Doug would love to come out there" Carol said  
  
"Great, thanks Carol you are a real good friend" Susan said  
  
"Your welcome, I have to go now we got to pick the girls up from preschool so I'll talk to you later okay?" Carol said  
  
"Sure, I'll call you tonight" Susan said   
  
"Okay talk to you later" Carol said as she hung up the phone. She looked around and had a big smile on her face, grabbed a chart and walked off. Carter on the other hand was standing outside a door of a good friend, he was reluctant to knock but his hand suddenly banged on the door  
  
"Come in" the voice boomed from the other side  
  
"Hi Dr. Benton" Carter said as he entered the door  
  
Carter come in, sit down" he said looking up from his work  
  
"Thanks" he said as he sat down  
  
"What do you want I'm kind of busy here got a lap-coly in fifteen minutes," Peter said  
  
"Well Dr. Benton I am going to get married in a couple of weeks" Carter said feeling nervous  
  
"Your what?" Peter said  
  
"I'm getting married to Susan," he repeated  
  
"Well congratulations man I'm happy for you" Peter said getting up to shake his hand  
  
"Thanks Dr. Benton, what I came up here was to ask if you would be my best man" Carter said clearing his throat  
  
"Sure Carter I would be honored to," he said   
  
"Thank you Dr. Benton, I really appreciate you doing this" Carter said  
  
"Your welcome Carter, I'm happy that you are finally getting settled" Peter said  
  
"Yeah okay we are going out this weekend to pick the tuxes up and then maybe we can go get drinks or something afterwards" Carter said  
  
"We?" Peter asked  
  
"Yeah Luka is going to be in the wedding too so he needs a tux you know?" Carter said  
  
"Oh okay I'll see if I can get some time off that day" Peter said   
  
"Thank you Dr. Benton" Carter said as he walked out. The rest of the day was pretty normal and Carter headed for home  
  
"Hi John" Susan said as he walked in  
  
"Hey hon" he said as he gave her a long passionate kiss  
  
"Mm, what's that for?" Susan asked  
  
"I don't know you are too beautiful I had to come and kiss you" Carter said  
  
"Okay I guess I will have to return the favor," she said as she gave him a long nice kiss  
  
"So did you talk to Carol?" Carter asked as he sat down on the couch  
  
"Yeah, they are coming up this weekend" Susan said as she joined him  
  
"Cool, it will be good to see them again" Carter said as he wrapped his arm around her   
  
"Yeah, did you ask Peter?" Susan asked  
  
"Yep he will be happy to do it" Carter said  
  
"Good" Susan said as they laid there and watched TV  



	15. A night out

Back to Your Heart  
Part 15  
  
A couple of weeks later Susan was standing at the gate waiting for Carol's plane to land "Flight 49 Seattle to Chicago is now landing at gate 21" the voice came over the intercom  
  
"That's them," Susan said to herself as she waited by the door waiting for them to come out. Passengers came out hugging relatives that came to see them and almost the last people came off and she saw them "Carol over here" Susan shouted  
  
"Susan, hey" Carol said as she ran over to hug her  
  
"Hey Doug" she said as she gave him a kiss on the cheek  
  
"Hey Susan" he said  
  
"You must be Tess" she said looking at the little girl hanging onto Doug's hand "And you must be Kate" she said to the other little girl  
  
"Daddy who is she?" Tess asked  
  
"That's an old friend of mommy and daddies," Doug said  
  
"Hi, lady" Tess said, Susan laughed  
  
"My name is Susan," she said "And I've known your mommy and daddy for a long time" she said kneeling down to her size  
  
"They are pretty tired" Carol said   
  
"Well why don't we drop them off at my house John's niece is visiting, she can watch them and we can go out and get lunch" Susan said as they walked over to baggage claim to get their bags  
  
"Sounds good" Doug said. They drove back to her and Johns house   
  
"Wow Susan this is a nice house" Carol said as they got inside   
"Yep, you guys can go ahead and set your things in here" Susan said pointing to the other guest room  
  
"Thanks for everything Susan" Doug said  
  
"Wow this is a cool house" Kate said walking around "I call this bed Kate said running over to the big bed in the corner  
  
"No that's mine" Tess said arguing with her  
  
"No girls don't fight, Tess why don't you give your sister that bed and you can have that one over there" Doug said trying to separated the twins  
  
"Okay daddy" Tess said with her lip poking out  
  
"Ah got to love them," Doug said  
  
"They are adorable though when they are asleep," Carol said noticing that they had passed out   
  
"Why don't we let them sleep" Susan said walking out the door "You guys want something to drink?" Susan asked walking into the kitchen  
  
"Thanks Susan, but I thought we were going out," Carol said  
  
"Well John is going to get home any minute we can wait for him" Susan said  
  
"That sounds good" Doug said "So Susan where is the wedding going to be?" he asked  
  
"Well I really liked that church that Carol was going to get married in and we decided to have it there" Susan said sitting down on the couch  
  
"Yeah that was a really nice church," Carol said  
  
"Yeah and we have everything ready and we are going to have the reception back at his grandparents house" Susan said  
  
"Oh an evening with the Carters" Doug said   
  
"Yeah they are really nice people and they seem to be happy for John" Susan said. They sat there for a while reliving the past when Carter finally showed up   
  
"There he is" Susan said as she ran up to him and gave him a kiss  
  
"Hey honey" he said returning her kiss  
  
"Hey Carter" Doug said coming up to shake his hand  
  
"Hey Doug, where are the girls?" he asked looking around for them  
  
"They are asleep in the other room" Doug said pointing towards the back  
  
"Oh well I'll have to see them later" Carter said "Well I have had a long day at work and I'm going to take a shower and then we can get ready to go" Carter said walking into the back, "Susan why don't you go ahead and call Desiree so she can come and watch the kids" Carter said   
  
"Okay where is her number?" she asked  
  
"On the little board on the fridge" he said. He walked back there and took his shower and came out in a polo shirt and a pair of khakis "Are we ready to go?" he said as he came out  
  
"Yeah we are just waiting on Des" Susan said at that there was a knock the door   
  
"Well I guess we don't have to wait long" Carter said, his 15 year old niece came through the door  
  
"Okay Uncle John you owe me big this time I'm not always going to be here to baby-sit your friends kids" she said   
  
"All right Desiree I'll get you some tickets to see the Back street boys" he said   
  
"All right" she said very happily  
  
"Okay here is some money for pizza and the girls are asleep right now, they could be up in a little bit," he said handing her money  
  
"Thanks Uncle John" she said "And have fun" she said shutting the door  
  
"Back street boys?" Carol asked suspiciously   
  
"I think she likes them and I usually bribe her with tickets to see them anyway" Carter said. They drove towards a nice restaurant, and were immediately seated  
  
"Wow that was quick last time we were here we waited a hour to be seated" Susan said   
  
"Yeah well I figured out a way to get seated faster," Carter said putting his wallet away  
  
"You bribed them John?" Susan asked  
  
"Yep works every time" he smiled. They ordered their meals and were done eating them and telling stories   
  
"Well that would be the last time Carter presses too hard on a babies stomach" Doug said laughing so hard he was turning beet red  
  
"Well I'll say I learned my lesson" Carter said laughing at himself  
  
"Oh boy it's getting late" Carol said looking around and noticing they were the only ones left in the restaurant  
  
"Yeah I'm sure they would like to get rid of us now" Doug said getting up, and grabbing Carol's coat  
  
"Yeah lets go ahead and get out of here," Carter said getting Susan's coat  
  
"You picked one heck of a girl their Carter" Doug said  
  
"I know I haven't been this happy in a long time" Carter said walking out, he walked over to Susan and put his arms around her  
  
"They look happy don't they" Carol said looking at them  
  
"Yeah, I love you Carol" Doug said taking her hand  
  
"I love you too Doug" she said  
  
"So you two ready?" Carter said calling them over to his car  
  
"Yes let's go" Doug said jumping in the car as they drove off. They all got home and decided to go ahead and call it a night. They all headed for bed but Susan couldn't sleep she was up all night tossing and turning, she decided to get up and go into the living room, she passed by Doug and Carol's room and watched them lay in bed together and she wondered if her life with Carter was going to be that good, she thought nothing of it and went into the living room to watch TV. She sat there for a while watching infomercials and finally fell asleep  
  
"I guess she couldn't sleep last night" Carter said   
  
"Well it must be the preg ouch," Doug said as Carol elbowed him  
  
"It's okay Carol I know already" Carter said "Why don't we leave her to sleep besides I told Peter that we would meet him at the tux shop in an half an hour  
  
"All right I will go ahead and get dressed" Doug said running into the back room to get ready  
  
"Did you tell him that he wasn't going to be in the wedding?" Carter asked Carol  
  
"Yeah but he needs a tux he forgot it back home" Carol said  
  
"Okay, I would have asked him to be in it but I had already asked Luka" Carter said feeling bad  
  
"That's okay Carter, he will get over it" Carol said. Doug came out dressed and ready to go  
  
"Okay we will be back later," Carter said on his way out the door with Doug behind him  
"Can you pick up something to eat on the way home?" Carol and Susan called after them   
  
"Yeah we will get something, I might invite Peter and Luka over is that okay?" Carter asked  
  
"Sure, that's okay" Susan said going back to her cup of coffee and paper. Carter and Doug showed up at the tux shop to notice that Peter and Luka were already getting fitted for their tuxes  
  
"You're late Carter" Peter said as they were altering his pants  
  
"Sorry had to wait for this lovebird here to pry away from Susan for a while" Doug said punching Carter in the arm  
  
"What?" Carter said. The guys all got their tuxes ready and were walking out of the shop  
  
"I'm hungry" Doug said  
  
"Yeah why don't we go and get lunch?" Luka said, they went to a little hofbreau and got a some great sandwiches and a couple of beers  
  
"Okay we need to get home now I promised Susan we would be home at for dinner," Carter said getting up   
  
"Uh oh, somebody is whipped" Doug said   
  
"Yeah but you have to remember that you have a wife back at the house too so you should get home" Carter said picking on Doug  
  
"Okay you got me there you guys want to join us?" Doug asked Peter and Luka  
  
"Yeah why not" they said. They got back in the car and were driving home expecting Susan and Carol to be there but they were out having some fun with Abby, Chuny, Lydia, and Lilly  
  
"Come on Susan in a couple of days you are going to be married you have to stay out and have some fun" Abby said trying to get her friend to stay at the strip joint they went to  
"Yeah but I promised John we would be there for dinner" Susan said  
  
"I doubt they are even going to come home they are probably out drinking or something come on Susan live a little" Abby said  
  
"All right but at least let me call the house and leave a message for him" Susan said going to the back to use the phone  
  
"Man she must be really in love or something," Abby said  
  
"It's love Abby I'm surprised you and Luka haven't gotten married yet" Carol said  
  
"Well I don't know what he is waiting for, I hope that he will say something soon" Abby said  
  
"Okay I left a message lets have some fun" Susan said rejoining them. The guys walked through the door expecting the girls to be there  
  
"Susan I'm home" Carter said as he hung his tux up in the closet "Hello?" he looked around for her  
  
"She must be out still," Peter said  
  
"Well why don't we just hang out here for the night" Luka said  
  
"Wait there is a message on the machine" Doug said when he saw the light blinking on the answering machine  
  
"Hey John, I'm here with Abby and Carol and we are going to have a girls night out don't stay up and wait for us love you and see you tonight" she said  
  
"Well I guess it's just a guys night tonight" Doug said plopping down on the couch  
  
"Yep, so what should we do?" Carter asked  
  
"Well let's call Dave up and we can get drunk and play poker," Luka said  
  
"Yeah" Carter said "Here Luka why don't you go down to the store around the corner and pick up some booze and I'll call Dave" he said handing Luka some money  
  
"I'll go with you" Doug said following Luka out the door "Should we tell them that we are going to get something else too?" Doug asked  
  
"No things are better left for surprises," Luka said as they went to find a pay phone. They got back with 12 cases of beer and Dave was already there and they were setting up the table  
  
"Finally" Dave said "What took you guys so long?" he asked  
  
"We had trouble getting it Luka forgot his ID and they thought we were a bunch of kids," Doug said looking for an excuse  
  
"Sure whatever put those in this cooler and get over here and play," Carter said handing them the cooler. They put the beers in and sat down  
  
"Okay game is three card stud aces and deuces are wild," Peter said throwing each of the men a card. After most of them had lost all there money to Luka, they decided to go sit in the living room   
  
"I think our special guest should be here in a little bit," Luka whispered to Doug  
  
"Okay" Doug said, they were sitting around the TV watching it when they heard a knock at the door  
  
"Did Susan forget her key" Carter said   
  
"I'll get" it Dave got up and ran to the door "Um Carter the door is for you she says she wants to come in" Dave said  
  
"Well let her in" Carter said, a lady walked in wearing a police uniform  
  
"Are you John Truman Carter?" the lady asked  
  
"Yeah what's this about" he asked standing up  
"Well, this party is too loud and I'm here to write you a ticket" the lady said as she went over to a little corner and got out a boom box   
  
"Oh god I can't believe you did this guys," Carter said blushing beet red  
  
"Well we had to do something you're only going to be a bachelor for a couple of days" Doug said as they watched the stripper give her performance.   
  
Susan on the other side of the town was having the time of her life "Come on baby I want more" she shouted  
  
"I think Susan needs to go home and take a cold shower," Chuny said taking Susan out of there   
  
"Yeah I think we should head home," Carol said as they went to catch some cabs. They got home and noticed that the house was a mess and Peter Luka and Dave had already left and Carter and Doug were asleep on the couch  
  
"I think we should let them sleep in here, what do you think?" Susan said  
  
"Well if were going to do that we might want to do something come here" Carol said as they went into the kitchen   
  
"I think we have some whipped cream in here" Susan said searching the refrigerator "Ah here we go" she said pulling the can out  
  
"Okay lets have some fun" Carol said finding some feathers from a feathered boa that Susan wore on Halloween, Susan went over to Carter and squirted some on his hand while Carol did the same to Doug an by the time they were done with them their whole faces were covered in whipped cream. They finally decided to wake them up, they both jumped when they realized they were covered in the stuff  
  
"Hey that's not fair come here" Doug said running after Carol with the whipped cream  
  
"Yeah Susan I just want to give you a kiss" Carter said running after Susan. After they were done all four were covered in whipped cream   
  
"I think we should go take a shower," Carol said  
  
"I agree" Doug said walking into the bathroom, there was some giggling coming from back there but Susan and Carter were too tired to find out what was so funny they laid there until they were finished and had come out  
  
"Okay guys we are going to bed now, there is some hot water left" Carol said heading towards their room  
  
"Thanks guys goodnight" Susan said. Carter and Susan walked back there after them and noticed that they were not done with their little fight when they had left the bathroom a mess  
  
"I'll get them to clean it up tomorrow" Carter said, they took their shower and decided it was time for them to get some sleep "You know I was wondering where are the girls?" Carter asked  
  
"Oh we dropped them off at your grandparents house they were okay with babysitting them" Susan said  
  
"Uh oh a whole day with my grandparents I wonder whom drove who nuts" Carter said  
  
"I don't know your Gamma seemed pretty happy to baby-sit them she just said it was something she was going to practice when we have our kid" Susan said laughing  
  
"Okay I've just never known Gamma to be a person who would want to baby-sit" Carter said  
  
"Well there is a first time for everything John" Susan said as they got into bed  
  
"Night Susan" he said giving her a kiss  
  
"Night John" she said as she kissed him back  



	16. The day is here!

Back to Your Heart  
Part 16  
  
A couple of days passed and Carter was at his grandparents house getting ready "You got the rings?" he asked Peter as he was pacing back and forth  
  
"Yes Carter they are right here, man you need to calm down," Peter said trying to follow him around  
  
"I know I know Dr. Benton I just want today to go off without a hitch" Carter said finally sitting down  
  
"Oh John don't worry nothing will go wrong" his Gamma said as she appeared at the top of the steps  
  
"Thanks Gamma" he said giving her a kiss on the cheek  
  
"You better get going now, the limo is already here," she said pointing outside   
  
"Okay thanks Mrs. Carter, we will get him there" Peter Doug and Luka said as they ran out the door. Over at Susan and Carters house Susan was more nervous then Carter was  
  
"Dam it" Susan yelled so loud that is scared Carol  
  
"Oh god Susan you scared the hell out of me, what's the matter" she asked trying to calm her down  
  
"The nail polish I got isn't the right color," she said looking at her nails  
  
"That's okay I'll get Abby to pick up the right color," she said  
  
"Okay, ugh why do things have to get so complicated?" she asked   
  
"That's normal, you should have seen my wedding day, the veil was missing, the caterers were late and Doug couldn't find the rings," Carol said   
  
"Don't tell me that Carol you are just making me more nervous" Susan said looking at her with worried eyes  
  
"Don't worry Susan everything will go fine, you are marrying a wonderful man, having his child and you have wonderful friends to be here for you," she said  
  
"Thanks Carol" Susan said giving her a hug  
  
"I got it lets get those nails done cause I just passed the limo driver who doesn't look to happy" Abby said bursting through the door  
  
"Thanks Abby you go ahead and get her nails, and I'll finish her hair" Carol said. They got her hair done and nails and were running out of the house with her dress to get the limo. They got to the church finally and were in the back getting Susan into her dress  
  
"Good thing I got this altered yesterday it seems to get smaller every time I put it on," Susan said looking at herself in front of the mirror  
  
"You look beautiful" Abby said admiring her  
  
"I'm going to go check on the guys" Carol said walking out. She went to the door where they were behind "You guys decent?" Carol said as she knocked   
  
"Yeah, I just don't know about Carter here" Doug said, she walked in and saw Carter pacing back and forth  
  
"Is he going to be okay?" Carol asked pointing at Carter  
  
"Yeah, how is Susan doing?" Peter asked  
  
"Yeah, yeah how is Susan doing?" Carter asked   
  
"She is going to be fine she is almost as nervous as you are Carter calm down" Carol said laughing  
  
"Okay I can calm down" Carter said to himself  
  
"Well you better they are about ready to start the ceremony," Dave said coming through the doors  
  
"Okay I'll see you in a little bit" Doug said giving Carol a kiss on the cheek and following Dave back to the church  
"And I'll go get Susan and Abby" Carol said leaving the men   
  
"You ready Carter?" Luka asked  
  
"Yeah let's do this" Carter said making his way over to the front of the church. In the back Susan was sitting on the couch   
  
"You ready Susan?" Carol asked  
  
"Yep let's go" Susan said getting up and grabbing the flowers. They all proceeded to the back of the church and the music started up and Luka and Abby came out followed by Peter and Carol, then finally Susan came out looking gorgeous in her wedding dress with a small tiara at the top of her hair, Carter stood at the alter in pure awe of her  
  
"You look gorgeous" Carter said as she joined him  
  
"I know" she said gloating, the minister came out and started to perform the ceremony  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen we are here today to celebrate the joyous union of John and Susan, now at this time they would both like to celebrate their love for each other by reciting their own vows" the minister said John first  
  
"Susan, when we first met each other I was a naïve med student and you were the experienced resident and I remember the first time I met you I thought that was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with but you decided that your life was needed somewhere else and for years my life was tortured then when you came back, it was the happiest day in my life and I never want you to leave me and I would love to spend the rest of my life with you" Carter said   
  
"John, I know that we haven't always been on the same road in life but now that we have gotten to this point in time I love the fact that I get to spend the rest of my life with you and have your baby and I love you and hope that we get to stay on that road together and never wander from each other" Susan said in tears  
  
"Do you have a ring to show as a symbol of your love and affection for Susan?" the minister asked John  
"Here" Peter whispered as he handed him the ring  
  
"Place it on Susan's left hand and repeat after me" the minister said "With this ring"  
  
"With this ring" Carter repeated  
  
"I thee wed" the minister said  
  
"I thee wed" Carter repeated  
  
"And now Susan do you have a ring to show as a symbol of your love and affection for John?" he asked  
  
"Here" Carol said handing the ring to Susan  
  
"Place it on John's left hand and repeat after me" the minister said "With this ring"   
  
"With this ring" Susan repeated  
  
"I thee wed" the minister said  
  
"I thee wed" she repeated, she slid the ring on to his finger and it wouldn't fit everyone laughed finally it slid on   
  
"John and Susan, by the powers vested in me by the state of Illinois I know pronounce you husband and wife" he said "You may kiss the bride" he finished. Carter and Susan looked at each other, and realized that after all they had been through every twist and turn they were now husband and wife. John took her in his arms and kissed her "Ladies and gentlemen may I now introduce Dr's John and Susan Carter" the minister said, they walked down the aisle and were in the back waiting for the rest of the wedding party  
  
"You guys did it" Carol said as she ran up to Susan and gave her a hug  
  
"Congratulations man" Peter said as he shook Carter's hand  
  
"Thanks, now lets go party" Carter said taking his new brides hand and walking out to the limo, they all got in and were waiting for Carol who was waiting for Doug to come out of the church  
"All right now lets get drunk" Doug said as he got in. They all got to the reception, and while the guests were eating ordurves the picture people were trying to take the wedding party's picture but they were all goofing around  
  
"Can we please get these done guys?" the photographer said  
  
"Okay sorry we just have too much fun here" Carter said apologizing for the group's behavior   
  
"Okay one more picture of the bride and the groom and you guys can go eat" the photographer said. Carter and Susan finally stood still and he shot the picture "Thanks guys now I'm going to get drunk" he said walking off  
  
"What a nice guy, where did you find him?" Carol asked Susan   
  
"Well he is a Carter that nobody talks about" Carter said  
  
"Oh, a black sheep type huh?" Peter said "Well I'm off to find Cleo I'll be back in time for introductions" Peter said walking off, after waiting for the longest time for the guests to sit down the DJ came out to introduce the party  
  
"Well now that everyone is seated I guess its time to bring out the bridal party" he said "First, we have the usher and a bridesmaid Luka Kovac and Abby Lockheart wont tell you how long it took me to pronounce his name" the DJ joked to a small reaction "Okay next we have the best man and the maid of honor Peter Benton and Carol Hathaway" he said as everyone applauded "Next we have the brand new couple John Truman Carter and Susan Lewis" they came out and everyone applauded. The party finally got seated and were sitting around waiting to be served, everyone came by and greeted them saying how lovely the ceremony is and how nice everything is  
  
"Hey Susan is that who I think that is over there" Carter said pointing to the red haired lady coming through the door  
  
"Yeah it is HEY ELIZABETH!" Susan yelled to her friend  
  
"Hey guys, sorry I couldn't make the wedding I just got back into town" she said giving Susan a kiss on the check and Carter a hug "You look beautiful Susan" she said admiring her dress  
  
"Thank you Elizabeth come and have a seat they should be serving dinner some time this millennium" Susan said taking Elizabeth by the hand to the big table where the whole gang sat  
  
"Elizabeth" Carol said standing up to greet her friend "How are you doing?" she asked  
  
"I'm doing good I've met someone new and we have been going out for a while, he is no comparison to Mark but he is good Ella" Elizabeth said  
  
"That's all that matters" Carol said  
  
"Finally dinner is served" Carter said as the waiters brought them dinner. They all ate talking drinking and having a good time when Peter stood up tapping his glass  
  
"Okay I guess its time for the best man toast" Peter said "Carter and Susan I'm really glad that you two are together, and I hope life brings you nothing but joy and love" Peter said lifting his glass "To the bride and groom"   
  
"Okay now its my turn" Carol said getting up "Carter and Susan I've known the two of your for the longest and now to see you here happy and married with a little one on the way I hope that you two have all that life has to offer you and be together forever" Carol said lifting her glass "To the bride and groom." Everyone got through eating and were wondering around the grounds when the DJ called for Carter and Susan for their first dance, they had picked Breath by Faith Hill for their dance  
  
----------------------------------------  
I can feel the magic floating in the air  
Being with you gets me that way  
I watched the sunlight dance across your face   
And I've never been this swept away  
All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze  
When I'm lying wrapped up in your arms  
The whole world just fades away the only thing  
I hear is the beating of your heart  
-----------------------------------------  
  
"I love you Mrs. Carter" John whispered to her as they were dancing "And I'm glad that you married me" he said  
  
"I love you too Mr. Carter and I love the fact that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together" Susan said as he twirled her around the dance floor.  
  
The rest of the night was fun they all danced and had a great time. They gave Doug and Carol some money to get a hotel for that night so they could have the house to themselves. They got home and spent the whole night drinking champagne that they had stolen from the wedding and making love   



	17. The Honeymoon (NC-17)

Back to Your Heart  
Part 17  
  
  
"Here it is the honeymoon suite," the bellhop said as he opened the door  
  
"Oh wow John this is beautiful," Susan said walking in admiring the room  
  
"Only the best, besides I had to get something and there was a convention here and this was the only room left" he said walking in  
  
"Sure whatever John" Susan said  
  
"Well I'm exhausted I say we get some sleep then we can have some fun tomorrow" he said giving her a deep kiss  
  
"That definitely sounds fun, besides I've never been to Hawaii" she said  
  
"Well then we must have fun" he said, getting ready for bed, they got into their pajamas and got into bed, they were getting comfortable when they heard a knock at the door  
  
"Room service" the man said at the other end of the door  
  
"Did you?" Carter asked looking at Susan  
  
"No, you?" she asked back, Carter put a robe on and answered the door  
  
"We didn't order room service," Carter said to the man with the cart  
  
"Well someone did for this room," he said looking at his slip "it says here to John and Susan Carter"   
  
"Well I have a feeling who did" Carter said looking at him "Did they say they were from Chicago?" he asked  
  
"Yeah how did you know?" he asked  
  
"Oh just a wild guess" he said taking the cart and wheeling it into the room "Guess we got a extra gift from our friends" John said rolling it into the room  
  
"Oh wow," she said looking at the cart  
  
"Lets see we have strawberries, champagne," he said looking at the selection  
  
"Ooh remind me to thank them when we get back" Susan said picking up a strawberry and eating it, they spent the rest of the night eating the strawberries and drinking the champagne. They woke up the next morning and decided to get dressed and get breakfast "You got everything?" Susan asked as they headed out the door  
  
"Yeah, lets go eat" Carter said taking her hand and walking over to the elevator. They found a nice little restaurant where they got treated very nicely "You think I should leave her a nice tip?" Carter asked  
  
"Yeah she is probably going to have a rough day give her a nice one" Susan said  
  
"Yeah, okay let's get going and see some of the sites," he said walking out. They spent the whole day looking at shops and buying clothes and having fun. They went back to the hotel to drop the stuff of when they decided to go out to the beach  
  
"You better put some sun-block on John I don't want you to get burnt" Susan said as she rubbed the white goop on her arms   
  
"I don't get burnt Susan, I'll be okay," he said  
  
"Okay John suite yourself" she said as they walked out the door, they spent the day holding hands walking on the beach and did a little sailing and stayed out to see the sun set   
  
"I love you Susan," he said looking into her eyes  
  
"I love you too John" she said kissing him, they went back into the hotel and Carter decided to hit the showers before they went out to dinner  
  
"Oh man" Carter said as he came out of the bathroom  
  
"What's the matter?" Susan said, as she was getting ready  
  
"Damn it I got sunburned" he said looking at his shoulders that were bright red  
  
"I told you to put sun block on," she said  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah I think there is some aloe-Vera in my bag can you get me some?" he asked going back into the bathroom to get ready  
  
"Here you go," she said handing him the bottle "You need some help with it?" she asked  
  
"Could you its all the way down my shoulder and I can't really reach it" he said, she put some on his shoulder and was looking deep into his eyes and went to kiss him but in her haste she forgot about the burns and Carter yelped out in pain  
  
"Oh my I'm sorry John," she said with her hand over her mouth  
  
"That's okay lets go eat dinner" he said putting on a shirt and jacket and walking out the door. They had dinner at a lovely little Italian restaurant. They drank wine and danced on the little dance floor that was there. They got back to the hotel where they fell onto the bed laughing   
  
"Oh that was so much fun" Susan said as she rolled over and looked into Carter's eyes  
  
"I never knew you know the Macarena," he said laughing  
  
"Well it's just something I picked up,"   
  
"That old couple never expected to see us tonight" he said rolling on his side propping his head up on his hand  
  
"What do you want to do now, maybe there is a good movie on" Susan said reaching for the remote  
  
"I've got something else in mind he said rolling on top of her  
  
"Oh you do, do you" she said kissing him  
  
"You betcha" he said kissing her deeply, despite the pain that Carter was feeling in his shoulders from the sunburn, he flipped Susan over and started taking off her clothes  
  
"Are you okay?" Susan asked as she saw a pained expression on his face when she started rubbing on his shoulders   
  
"I'm okay," he said continually kissing her. He unhooked her bra to reveal her breasts and then started kissing all over them he left a trail of kisses down her body while taking in the scent of her. He stopped at her swollen stomach and kissed all over it making her laugh, he took this as a sign that she was enjoying it as much as he was.  
  
He went lower to work his magic on the spot that he knew she loved, he gripped the tops of her underwear and to impress her used his teeth to slowly slide them down her legs and came back up to her crotch and slid his tongue into her folds making her squirm and moan  
  
"Oh god John" Susan said breathing really hard  
  
He put his fingers inside her moving with each beat of her heart taking her to that special place that only they shared, just as Susan was about to climax she reached down and guided him back up to her lips  
  
"Your turn now" she said as she flipped him over and slowly removed his pants and boxers, grabbing on to his hardness making him moan at the slightest touch. She slunk her way down to his crotch and kissed his inner thigh. John felt like if she teased him anymore he was going to explode and just at that thought she took him in whole maneuvering her tongue all over him making him want to scream, he was on the verge of explosion when he lifted her up to his level kissing her deeply  
  
He got back on top of her slowly entering her. He buried his head in her breasts as he rocked her back and forth. They screamed as they came close to climaxing, they didn't care that they were in a hotel all they cared is that they were together and that this was there night.  
  
After the last thrust they fell onto the bed laughing and feeling each other, Susan gasped  
  
"You okay?" Carter asked  
  
"The baby just kicked" Susan said feeling her stomach "Here feel," she said as she placed his hand on her stomach  
  
"Wow, that's a strong kick" he said as he felt the baby kick. They went into the bathroom and put their bathing suites back on, got their robes and decided to make their way down to the hot tub that was by the pool. They got in and let the bubbles tickle them as they sat their in each others arms   
  
"Remember that Christmas night when we almost kissed in front of my apartment?" Susan asked  
  
"Yeah how could I forget, I still have that robe you gave me" he said   
  
"Really?" she asked  
  
"Yeah, it's at my grandparents house right now, do you still have that music box I gave you?" he asked  
  
"Of course, that was a great gift" she said leaning up kissing him  
  
"You know what I think this tops any gift I've ever been given right now," he said  
  
"You don't say," she said  
  
"Yeah, I've got my beautiful wife, a baby on the way things couldn't possibly get any better then this moment in time right now" he said holding her tight  



	18. Baby Shower

Back to Your Heart  
Part 18  
  
A couple months after they got home they found themselves upstairs in OB waiting for to be seen.   
  
"Man the doctor is sure late" Susan said looking at her watch getting more and more impatient  
  
"She is only 5 minutes late honey she'll be here" Carter said hoping that she wouldn't snap at him, her hormones seemed more and more out of control for the last month. Finally they were called back into an exam room   
  
"Go ahead and put that gown on and the doctor will be here in a minute," the nurse said. Carter helped her into the rather large gown suited for her bulging stomach  
  
"Thanks John" Susan said as he helped her up onto the table  
  
"Hello kiddies" Dr. Coburn said as she walked into the room  
  
"Hello Dr. Coburn" Susan said  
  
"So why don't we see how this baby is doing shall we," she said as she got her ready for an ultrasound  
  
"Wow that's a big baby," Carter said as he saw the figure on the screen  
  
"You guys want to know the sex right?" she asked  
  
"Yes we definitely do" Susan said  
  
"Well lets see, it looks like you are going to have a girl, congratulations," she said  
  
"Wow a little girl" Carter said  
  
"Okay well you can go ahead and put your clothes back on and go make another appointment with the receptionist" Dr. Coburn said as she left the room. Susan got her clothes back on and made another appointment and they made their way downstairs to start work  
"Oh by the way don't let anyone know I told you this but they are planning a baby shower for you before you go home tonight" Carter said   
  
"I've known that for a while, they cant hide things very well down there" Susan said as they got into the elevator, they went downstairs to start work. It was an unusually slow day and the staff spent most of the time clowning around the ER  
  
"Hey Carter want to play some wheelchair hockey?" Dave asked as he threw Carter a crutch  
  
"Sure" he said as he shot one over Dave's head and walked away laughing  
  
"Ha, ha very cute man," Dave said as he went to find the rolled up ace wrap they used for a puck  
  
"You guys want to order something to eat?" Lydia asked as she came over to the admit desk  
  
"Yeah lets order a pizza," Carter said  
  
"Yeah one with lots and lots of anchovies" Susan said as everyone looked funny at her  
  
"What I'm allowed to have weird cravings I'm pregnant for petes sakes why does everyone have to pick on me?" she started to cry  
  
"Hormones" Carter whispered to everyone who was looking to Carter for an answer on her weird behavior. They ended up getting her, her own pizza with the toppings that she had wanted.  
  
A month later Susan was on her maternity leave, and Susan was in the kitchen washing up the dishes from breakfast, when Carter came up from behind her "I don't know what it is about those gloves that makes you look so sexy" he said kissing the back of her neck  
  
"Ha ha you better get to work before Kerry has an aneurysm from you being late" she said  
  
"Yeah, Okay honey I'll be home for lunch" he said as he grabbed his overnight bag and headed out the door. She finished the dishes, and made herself a cup of hot cocoa, she sat in her recliner and turned her soap opera on. Suddenly she woke up and noticed that her cocoa was all of a sudden cold she got up to make herself another cup when she heard a knock at the door "Coming" she yelled as she made her way to the door "Who is it?" she asked before she opened the door  
  
"Abby" the voice on the other side of the door said  
  
"Oh hey come on in Abby, I was just about to make myself a cup of cocoa you want a cup?" she asked  
  
"Sure" Abby said  
  
"So how are things going with you and Luka?" Susan asked  
  
"Great we are looking into getting a house together," she said  
  
"Ooh sounds like a big step for you two, do you want that?" Susan asked  
  
"Yeah, I love Luka and want to be with him it's the closest thing to getting married" Abby said  
  
"Oh yeah, I'll agree on that" Susan said laughing  
  
"So how is the baby doing?" Abby asked  
  
"Oh she is doing somersaults," Susan said holding on to her stomach  
  
"Oh that's normal" Abby said. They talked for hours about different things, and must of gone through 5 cups of cocoa when Susan went to put the cups in the kitchen she felt a weird pain that she has felt somewhat all day but had ignored   
  
"Whoa" Susan said grabbing onto the counter to keep her from falling over   
  
"You okay Susan?" Abby asked as she walked into the kitchen  
  
"I don't know Abby can you call John for me?" Susan asked as she went into the living room to lie down. She didn't get very far before she felt a rush of water between her legs "Oh man" she said as she saw the fluid on her carpet  
  
"What's going on?" Abby asked as she walked into the living room "Oh, I think I'll put a rush on that call to Carter" Abby said as she frantically searched for the portable phone, she quickly dialed 911 and waited for someone to answer  
  
"911 what's your emergency?" the operator asked  
  
"Yes I have a 9 month pregnant lady who has just gone into active labor I need an ambulance here as soon as possible" Abby said trying to keep the calmness in her voice  
  
"Okay mam, just give me your address and we will be over there as soon as we can" the operator said. Abby gave them the address and went over to make sure Susan was okay "Okay Susan just breath the ambulance will be here soon" Abby said trying to keep her calm  
  
"They better get here soon, and they better have drugs" Susan said breathing through the pain  
  
"I'm sure they will" Abby said trying to hold back a laugh from that  
  
"You going to call Carter?" Susan asked  
  
"Oh yeah" Abby said picked as she picked the phone up again and dialed the number to County   
  
"This is County go ahead" Randi said as she answered the phone  
  
"Hey Randi this is Abby where is Carter?" Abby asked   
  
"In a middle of trauma why?" Randi asked  
  
"Well Susan is in labor and just thought he would like to know" Abby said  
  
"Well let me go get him, are you guys coming here?" Randi asked  
  
"Hold on a second the paramedics are at the door" Abby said as she went to open the door for them, Randi waited till she came back on "Yeah they are going there, be there in 10 minutes" Abby said as she hung up the phone and went to help them load Susan up into the ambulance.   
  
Randi went in search of Carter and found him in trauma 2 "Hey Carter how lucky you feeling today?" Randi asked  
  
"What's going on?" Carter asked  
  
"Well your wife is on the way in active labor" Randi said  
  
"Oh my god, um Dr. Weaver you don't mind taking it from here do you?" Carter asked  
  
"Go Carter I can handle it from here" Kerry said  
  
"Thanks Dr. Weaver" Carter said as he shed his trauma gown glasses and gloves and ran to meet the ambulance coming in  
  
"Nine month pregnant woman in active labor" the paramedic said as they came in  
  
"I know who she is" Carter said as they brought her in "how you doing Susan?" he asked  
  
"Great John this is so much fun" Susan said sarcastically  
  
"Okay why don't we move her into trauma 1" Kerry said as she joined them  
  
"No I don't want to have my baby down here" Susan said objecting  
  
"We are just going to examine you here then we are moving you upstairs" Kerry said trying to calm her down  
  
"Okay I can do that," Susan said as Kerry started to examine her  
  
"Okay you are at least 4 centimeters dilated" Kerry said as she examined her  
  
"4!" Susan said loudly   
  
"Yeah, okay she is ready for transport" Kerry said as they started to move her. They got upstairs and got her settled in a room. They weren't in there for five minutes when the nurse came in  
  
"Hi I'm Kelly your nurse how you doing Susan?" Kelly asked  
  
"Great, when can I get that epidural?" Susan asked  
  
"The anesthesiologist is on his way to give you one" Kelly said  
  
"Well can you get a rush on that please" Susan said   
  
"I'll see what I can do, are you the father?" Kelly asked Carter who was now pacing back and forth in the room  
  
"Yeah John Carter nice to meet you" he said reaching out his hand but as he did he knocked over a tray of supplies  
  
"I got that you sit down its going to be a while" Kelly said as she picked up the tools that had scattered all over the floor  
  
"John why don't you go get a cup of coffee like the nurse said it's going to be a while," Susan said to her nervous husband  
  
"Okay, tell them to page me when the anesthesiologist gets here" Carter said as he gave her a kiss on her forehead and went to the cafeteria, where he ran into Abby and Dave who were getting something to eat  
  
"How you doing daddy?" Abby asked as she saw him come in  
  
"Good good good, I can handle this" Carter said as he went to go pay for the coffee   
  
"Okay then should I be the one to tell you that your pager is going off?" Dave asked his nervous friend  
  
"Oh god I should really get up there then" Carter said as he ran out the door forgetting to pay the cashier for the coffee  
  
"I got it" Dave said as he paid for him. Carter ran upstairs to find the doctor getting ready to give Susan the epidural  
  
"Okay Susan why don't you sit up" Kelly said as she helped her up "And Dad why don't you hold onto her" she finished  
  
"Okay, honey it will be over in a second," Carter said trying to comfort her  
  
"John, you know I love you but would you be so kind as to shut up!" Susan yelled  
  
"Okay, I understand" Carter said still holding onto her  
  
"Don't worry she will calm down when the epidural kicks in" Kelly said, 15 minutes later Susan was laying in bed playing with the sheets that covered her   
  
"How you doing babe?" Carter asked  
  
"Great I love these drugs" Susan said off in another world  
  
"How are we doing?" Dr. Coburn said as she came in  
  
"Great," Susan said  
  
"Okay well I am going to check you out and see how far you are along" Coburn said lifting her legs into the stirrups   
  
"Okay, not too much longer" she said taking her gloves off and writing something on her chart "I'll be back later to check on you, do you need anything?" she asked  
  
"No I'm fine thank you Janet" Susan said. As soon as Dr. Coburn walked out Luka and Abby walked in  
"How you doing Susan?" Luka asked  
  
"I'm doing great, I'm actually glad that you two came in me and John want to ask you two a question" Susan said  
  
"Sure what is it?" Abby asked   
  
"Would you be the babies godparents?" Susan asked  
  
"We would love to" Abby said  
  
"Yeah, I would love it" Luka said. They stayed with them for about a half an hour when they were beeped and had to go downstairs for a trauma   
  
"Good luck Susan" Abby said as she walked out  
  
"Thanks Abby" Susan said as she started to feel the epidural wearing off "Oh man, I think the drugs are wearing off" Susan said   
  
"Oh boy" Carter said under his breath  
  
"What was that?" Susan said sounding a little irritated  
  
"Nothing, I'll see if I can find a doctor" Carter said as he walked out of her room, he walked down the hallway and ran into Kelly "um nurse Kelly I think the epidural is starting to wear off" Carter said nervously  
  
"That's normal it just means that she is getting closer, I'll go find the doctor" Kelly said as she walked off. Carter returned back to her room to find her in the middle of a contraction  
  
"Oh you son of a bitch you do realize you're never touching me again right," Susan said in a voice Carter had never heard from her before "And I know about all the women you have dated I'm surprised you haven't got them pregnant why did you do this too me?" Susan screamed, and then kicked him in the crotch. Before he had a chance to say something Kelly and Dr. Coburn walked in  
  
"Okay Susan how we doing?" Dr. Coburn asked  
  
"How do you think I'm doing a thing the size of a watermelon is trying to get through something the size of a lemon," Susan said  
  
"Okay I just need you to relax so I can check you out," Dr. Coburn said  
  
"Okay, I can do that" Susan said on a bit of the sarcastic side  
  
"Oh man" Dr. Coburn said  
  
"What, what's going on?" Susan asked concerned  
  
"Prolapsed cord we need to go in for an emergency c-section, prep an OR room" Dr. Coburn said  
  
"What you are going to cut me open I don't want that" Susan said protesting  
  
"Susan it doesn't look like we have much of a choice in the matter" Coburn said  
  
"John is the baby going to be okay?" Susan asked  
  
"I'm sure she will," Carter said comforting his worried wife. They got her into the OR room and gave her anesthesia to get her ready to cut her open "Oh man that's disgusting" Carter said as he saw them cut her open  
  
"Carter you were a surgeon how could you say that was disgusting?" Susan asked trying to calm herself down. About a half an hour later they got her out, but there was something wrong the baby wasn't crying   



	19. Not without my daughter

Back to Your Heart  
Part 19  
  
  
  
"John why isn't she crying?" Susan asked worried  
  
"I'm sure there is nothing wrong" Carter said walking over to look at his little girl who hadn't moved an inch since they took her out "What's going on?" Carter asked  
  
"I need you to back off while we check her" Kelly said, they finally got her to cry but there was still something wrong with her  
  
"We need to move her to the NICU right away" Dr. Coburn said  
  
"What, what's going on?" Susan asked  
  
"I don't know I'll go check" Carter said catching up with them in the hallway "Where you taking her, what's wrong?" Carter asked frantically  
  
"The prolapsed cord has cut off the baby's oxygen flow and she is unable to breathe on her own" Kelly said "Go back and be with your wife, I'll talk to you in a little bit" Kelly said catching up to the incubator that was on its way to the elevator, Carter walked back into the OR room to see his wife in tears  
  
"What's going on John why didn't they let me see her?" Susan asked  
  
"I don't know they will be back in I'm sure they will let you see her then" Carter said not really knowing what to say on the off hand chance that their baby might not live through the night. They wheeled Susan back into her room where she quickly fell asleep, but Carter couldn't stay in the room he needed to get out of there and go somewhere to be alone. He decided to go up to the roof  
  
"I don't do this a lot but I need some help up there let me know that everything is going to be okay God I cant take loosing another person I love" Carter said as he looked up at the night sky  
  
"I'm sure she will be okay" Carter heard a familiar voice  
  
"Lucy what are you doing here?" he asked shocked to see his medical student again  
  
"Don't get too excited I cant stay long, I just came to tell you that I'm sure your baby will be okay, I'm keeping an eye on her anyway" Lucy said  
  
"Thanks Lucy its nice to know she has a guardian angel up there" he said as Lucy disappeared as fast as she appeared. He went back downstairs to see if Susan was awake, he went into the room to find her not in there "Excuse me where is Susan Carter?" he asked the clerk at the desk  
  
"She went to the NICU someone came and got her," she said not looking up from her magazine  
  
"Thanks" Carter said running to the elevator, he got to the 7th floor and started looking for where Susan was, he finally found her sitting in a wheelchair by the incubator where there baby laid on a respirator  
  
"John, they say she may never come off the respirator," Susan said in tears  
  
"Susan, I'm sorry they told me not to tell you" Carter said  
  
"I know that's okay" Susan said sitting in the wheelchair. They both sat there for hours looking at the baby both hoping and praying that she would get through it alive, Carter looked over at Susan and noticed that she was falling asleep he wheeled her back into her room and put her back into bed "I love you Susan" he said as he kissed her forehead and walked out of the room. He decided to go back downstairs and talk to everyone  
  
"Hey Carter Susan pop that baby out yet?" Dave asked  
  
"Yeah Dave" Carter said not looking at him  
  
"Ah cool so where is the little tyke?" Dave asked, at that Carter broke down in tears  
  
"What happened?" Kerry asked   
  
"I asked him how his kid was doing and he started to cry" Dave asked backing off  
  
"Go on Dave, I think you have some work to do" Kerry said  
  
"But Chief" he protested  
  
"Just go on, Carter what's the matter?" Kerry asked with concern in her voice  
  
"She is on a respirator and they don't think she is going to come off" Carter said wiping his eyes  
  
"Oh John, I'm sorry how is Susan taking this?" Kerry asked  
  
"Not too well, she is in worse shape then I am" Carter said  
  
"Well why don't you go back up there and be with your family, take all the time off that you need" Kerry said  
  
"Thank you Dr. Weaver" Carter said, he went back upstairs and found Peter and Cleo in Susan's room talking to her   
  
"I'm sure she is going to be okay," Cleo said sitting next to her  
  
"Yeah, she's Carter's kid she's got to be tough" Peter joked  
  
"Thanks Dr. Benton" Carter said walking in  
  
"Hey Carter why don't we go get a cup of coffee and let these two talk" Peter said noticing that Carter could use some time away  
  
"No, I think I should stay here" Carter said  
  
"Carter, come on, I need to stay awake anyway" Peter said pulling him out of the room. They went downstairs and sat at one of the tables  
  
"I just never expected something like this to happen" Carter said on the verge of tears  
  
"Carter you just got to pray and hope that she pulls it through" Peter said trying to cheer him up   
  
"Yeah, say you want to go see her?" Carter asked  
  
"Yeah lets go" Peter said, they made their way back up to the NICU and found themselves looking through the glass at the baby "She is adorable Carter" Peter said "You did a good job"   
  
"Thanks Dr. Benton, I just wish that she would get better" Carter said   
  
"She will Carter, she is too much like you she is a fighter" Peter said as he patted him on the back, his beeper started to go off "Ugh that's me" Peter said as he looked at his pager "I'll be back later Carter, keep your head up" Peter said as he made his way down the hallway to the elevator. A couple of days had passed and a lot of people had come to see her and wish Carter and Susan well  
  
"You know you are going to eventually have to give her a name guys" Abby said noticing that the tag on the front of the incubator still said "baby Carter"   
  
"I don't know what do you think we should name her?" Carter asked Susan who was now in regular clothes   
  
"How about Emily?" Susan asked  
  
"I like that how about Emily Knight Carter" Carter said  
  
"I love that" Susan said, a couple of days later Carter was at the incubator by himself watching his little baby sleep   
  
"Hi Emily" Carter said looking down at the sleeping infant "Now Emily you got to do daddy a favor, I need you to pull through this, I want you to come home and I want to be able to hear you cry at night and I wan to watch you grow up and I want to be able to give you away when you get older so please I'm begging get better so I can hold you" Carter said crying   
"I'm sure she is going to be okay" Susan said coming up from behind him   
  
"I hope so, I cant stand to see her like this" Carter said finally succumbing to tears. A couple of days later they tore the tag off the incubator and it was empty, no baby lying there in it and Susan was crying, she was crying tears of joy as she looked down at her baby girl who was cooing in her mothers arms  
  
"Lets take you home Emily" Susan said as she carried her infant for the first time. They got her home and were about to open the door when they found all their friends at the other side  
  
"Surprise" they all yelled  
  
"Oh my god" Susan said looking at Carter  
  
"Don't look at me," Carter said, "I'm just as surprised as you are"  
  
"Welcome home Emily" Kerry said as she came up to give Susan a hug  
  
"Thanks Kerry" Susan said  
  
"Well, let me get a look at my great granddaughter" Gamma said as she came out from behind  
  
"Gamma" Carter said in shock to see his grandmother out of the house and not just for business  
  
"Wow, she is beautiful" she said as she held her "Congratulations Susan and John" she said  
  
"Thank you Millicent" Susan said  
  
"Your welcome Susan" she said as she walked off to carry her great granddaughter to show to everyone  
  
"Nice to see her here" Susan said as she watched her play with Emily  
  
"Yeah, she is a big softie at heart" Carter said joking around. They spent the whole night playing with the baby and talking   
"Well I guess now you guys are ready to have another one" Abby said  
  
"Yeah well we will get right on that," Susan said sarcastically  
  
"Well, I'm ready to go home" Gamma said  
  
"Yeah it's getting late and it looks like the guest of honor is passed out" Luka said noticing that Emily was fast asleep in Carter's arms  
  
"Good night guys" Carter said as he showed the last of the guests out  
  
"Now I want a lot of pictures of her John" Gamma said  
  
"I'll get them to you Gamma" Carter said, as he walked her to her car and watched it drive off  
  
"Well why don't we put her in her crib for her first night here" Susan said. They put Emily in her crib and went to bed. Later that night Carter got up to get a glass of milk he went to the baby room and stood there watching Emily sleep   
  
"Thank you Lucy you were right again" Carter said as he stood in the door way, he stood there for a little bit longer and then headed to bed  



End file.
